Kays Translations

Chapter 50: The Spider Witch

A true friend rushes to help, even when told not to!

That’s what I’ve read in so many manga, and I wholeheartedly agree.

It’s not about whether my help is pointless or whether I’ll actually make a difference.

A friend helps—because they’re a friend!

Unlike those fake friends who talk big about friendship but turn their backs when things get tough, I’m different. I won’t sit back and make excuses while my friend suffers.

Honestly, I still don’t fully grasp what a “normal friendship” is supposed to be.

I have my own definition of what friendship means.

Hiyori once said, “Friendship takes many forms.”

For me, a friend is someone who, even after being told to stay put in Okutama, still sets out to rescue Hiyori when she marches off to war.

I’ve heard Bunkyō Ward is in chaos. That means Professor Ōhinata is in danger too.

The Blue Witch is ridiculously powerful, so those arrogant Arataki gang attackers will no doubt be slaughtered. But she’s a bit clumsy—what if she misjudges her strength and accidentally takes out the professor too?

So, I prayed to the Okuta Meteorite enshrined in my workshop, bribed Fuyou (who tried to hold me back with roots) with three bags of my secret stash of chemical fertilizer, grabbed my combat magic staff, Hendenshaw, slung my tool bag over my shoulder, and set out from Okutama, fire lizards in tow.

If my rescue ends up being pointless, so be it.

Even if I can’t help, the worst that can happen is that I run away.

Even I, who constantly gets nagged by Hiyori for my lack of caution, understand the risk of getting captured by the enemy as a super-genius magic staff craftsman.

I have two goals for this mission:

1. Protect myself.
2. Save my friend.

It’ll work out somehow. It did during the Mushroom Pandemic, after all.

Back then, I moved stealthily on the surface. But now, Tokyo is under attack. I can’t just walk around in the open.

So, I’ll take the underground route.

Using Tokyo’s subway network, I’ll sneak into Bunkyō Ward unseen.

Underground tunnels are constantly fighting against water. Coastal mega-cities like Tokyo or New York flood quickly when drainage systems fail.

It’s been over five years since the Gremlin Disaster, and with the drainage pumps dead for five winters, the tunnels have been through cycles of freezing and thawing, expanding and contracting. The concrete walls are crumbling at a terrifying rate compared to above ground.

I snuck along the abandoned tracks and entered the vast underground maze, also known as the “Tokyo Dungeon.”

With Tsubaki’s tail flame as a lantern, I took in the unmistakably post-apocalyptic scene.

The walls, stripped of paint and tiles, were overrun with blackish lichen. Dead leaves blown in from the surface had gathered at the entrance, where feeble grass had taken root. Deeper in, grass gave way to mushrooms, and scattered animal droppings dotted the floor.

Cobwebs clung to a cracked ticket machine, and an old fire pit remained near the turnstiles.

The air was cold, carrying the musty scent of dust and animal waste. It was eerie but exhilarating—a true relic of another world.

I finally understood why some people love urban ruin exploration.

I navigated using a graffiti-covered route map.

There were many flooded areas along the way, but I melted safety fences with my fire lizards’ flames, welded together a simple raft, and paddled across.

The three lizards peered curiously over the edge, fascinated by the murky water. Their excitement made me smile.

This was it—I was finally having a real ruin-exploration adventure five years after the collapse of civilization.

The tunnels were deteriorating fast, especially where the flooding was severe. Some pillars had collapsed.

But by observing the cracks, tapping walls to check their integrity, and listening carefully, I could tell which areas were truly dangerous.

In another three or four years, Tokyo’s underground might be completely inaccessible. But for now, I could still get through if I avoided the worst spots.

After navigating two stations, the tracks suddenly became… clean.

There were clear signs of human maintenance.

No animal droppings. The cracks had been repaired.

Tensing up, I braced myself for potential encounters. But when I saw what was ahead, I understood.

“A charcoal-powered train?”

“Mi?”

“Oh, sorry, Mokutan, I wasn’t calling you.”

Mokutan, thinking I had called his name, looked up at me curiously. I patted his head and examined the rugged-looking train sitting on the tracks.

I had vaguely heard rumors about a charcoal-powered train running on the Marunouchi Line.

I’d dismissed it as irrelevant since I rarely left Okutama, but turns out it was very relevant.

The train seemed to be for transporting goods.

Its linked cargo cars were piled with scrap metal and clothing.

A piece of paper was stuck to a window, reading:

“Service suspended until the state of emergency is lifted!”

I scanned my surroundings.

No sign of people.

With the emergency declaration in effect, all personnel must have evacuated long ago.

The train’s door wasn’t locked.

Inside the driver’s cabin, there were only two levers labeled “Speed Control” and “Brake,” along with a speedometer. Simple.

Even I could drive this thing.

I found an operation manual in the dashboard, skimmed through it, unhooked the cargo cars with my tools, lit the fuel, and started the engine.

It was way faster than walking.

Sorry for borrowing it without permission, but this is an emergency.

Departure time.

As the charcoal-powered train chugged along, its speed increased thanks to the detached cargo cars.

The fire lizards pressed their faces against the window, utterly thrilled by their first train ride.

They probably thought this whole rescue mission was just an exciting adventure.

Cute little guys.

With the train, I made it to Bunkyō Ward much faster than expected, stopping at Kōrakuen Station.

The station was in decent shape but still had patches of water, creating a thin mist that obscured my vision.

I stepped off the train with the fire lizards, pondering my next move.

Looking back, I realized I had mostly acted on impulse.

I had made it to Bunkyō Ward, but… what now?

I didn’t even know the exact situation.

I’d heard Bunkyō Ward was Tokyo’s most dangerous hotspot, but I had no clue what was actually happening, where my friends were, or what they were facing.

Professor Ōhinata might have already evacuated.

Information gathering was the first step.

Maybe I could send the fire lizards to scout?

Wait, no—they can’t talk.

Even if they found something, they wouldn’t be able to report back. Worse, someone might mistake them for wild monsters and attack them.

Should I scout myself?

Ugh. That sounded awful.

Bunkyō Ward was crawling with enemies—and people in general.

I wished someone would just write up all the critical info, fold it into a paper airplane, and send it my way.

As I was lost in thought, I suddenly sensed something.

Looking up, I saw a familiar figure in the mist.

Hiyori.

She waved at me.

“Wow, what a coincidence!”

I waved back.

“Hey, Hiyori! It’s me! I was worried about Professor Ōhinata, so I came to help!”

No response.

Hiyori just motioned for me to follow.

Ah, right.

Even though we were underground, this was still a battlefield.

Shouting like an idiot was a bad idea.

Lowering my voice, I stepped forward to speak with her.

But as I got closer, I realized—

This wasn’t Hiyori.

Not even close.

It was a humanoid figure made of some unknown mineral-like material.

“Huh? …Whoa!?”

The moment I stopped in confusion, something grabbed me and lifted me forcefully into the air.

My body spun wildly in midair, and before I knew it, I was completely wrapped up in white threads.

What the hell? What’s happening?! I just got turned into something like bacon-wrapped asparagus!

As I wriggled in my worm-like state, I noticed three fire lizards, wrapped up just like me, suspended in midair. Their jaws were sealed shut, preventing them from breathing fire. The threads binding us seemed to be fire-resistant, as they didn’t burn even when exposed to the flames at the tips of their tails.

The four of us dangled helplessly, flailing about together.

As the reality of being rendered completely powerless sank into my brain, a cold sweat formed on my skin.

Did I… just walk straight into a trap?

Crap. I really screwed up.

I followed the threads suspending us and looked up at the ceiling of the subway.

There, clinging to the ceiling, was an enormous spider.

H-holy crap! That thing’s huge! It’s as big as a car!?

Seven gleaming compound eyes, reflecting the flickering light of the fire tails, pierced me with their gaze. Its mandibles clicked together, and its hairy, bristling legs prodded at me.

Spiders are carnivorous. It’s only natural that a mutated monster version of one would also be carnivorous.

I was in serious danger.

But…

Instead of panicking over being three seconds away from getting eaten, I found myself mesmerized by how cool the giant spider looked.

“Man, this is awesome. Such a beautifully functional creature…”

A spider alone is already a perfect creature, but a spider this huge? That’s next-level cool!

Where do you live? What are your hobbies? Is your main diet humans?

I’ve always loved spiders. They’re so skillful.

Spiders are born knowing how to weave those geometrically perfect, radial webs. No one teaches them—it’s pure instinct. They’re natural-born craftsmen!

That’s amazing. I genuinely respect them. As a species, they’re way too competent.

Sure, some spiders don’t spin webs, but in my book, spiders are up there with beavers, the masters of dam-building. They’re both peak creatures in my eyes.

As I admired its glittering, jewel-like compound eyes, the massive spider tilted its head in an oddly insect-like motion.

“Why… aren’t you afraid?”

“?!?”

A cute girl’s voice, completely at odds with the monstrous appearance, echoed in my ears. For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating.

But I definitely heard it.

The voice came from right in front of me—from the mouth of the giant spider.

Wait, what? How?

“Why can you talk—oh, wait. Are you the Spider Witch?”

“That’s what they call me…”

The Spider Witch clicked her mandibles and nodded slightly.

Whaaaat!? She’s really just a spider!

Where’s the “witch” part? There’s literally nothing human about her! I love it! This is the best!

As I got more excited, the Spider Witch poked at me with the tip of one of her legs and asked thoughtfully:

“Hey… Are you with the Arataki gang?”

“Oh, no. Actually, it’s the opposite. I have a friend in Bunkyo who’s in trouble, so I came to help.”

“Hmm… Really…?”

“I swear on the Octa meteorite.”

“What’s that? Hmm… But… the Arataki gang shouldn’t have any knowledge of controlling monsters… If you have monsters with you, then… Okay. Sorry for scaring you… I’ll let you go now…”

The Spider Witch apologized sincerely and released the threads, lowering us to the ground.

The fire lizards, still trembling with fear, quickly hid behind me, clinging to my pants.

Hey, hey, guys, calm down. This lady isn’t scary. It’s fine.

As I brushed off the strands of webbing from my clothes, the Spider Witch bowed her head and apologized again.

“Sorry. I thought you were with the Arataki gang, so I captured you…”

“Oh, no, not at all. Honestly, that was a fascinating experience.”

“Really…? Then… I guess that’s good…? Um, but, back to my question—why aren’t you afraid of me…?”

“Wait. Would you prefer if I were scared?”

“No! Please, don’t be afraid of me!”

The Spider Witch, who had been speaking calmly, suddenly raised her voice, startling me.

What? Did I just step on some kind of landmine? How am I supposed to know what sets off a witch?!

“S-sorry for shouting. Um, the thing is… I can see fear. I can literally see it in people. And the more afraid they are… the more delicious they look to me…”

“Whoa. Is this one of those ‘mutant transformation-induced fetish changes’?”

Wait, do witches often develop a taste for human flesh? The Hell Witch was like that too.

But just like the Hell Witch, this Spider Witch, despite having some freaky tendencies, actually seems really nice. She has such a gentle demeanor. And she’s a spider. The Dragon Witch could learn a thing or two from them.

“This is my first time seeing someone who isn’t afraid of me… How does that work? Is it some kind of magic? Oh, wait—are you a magician?”

“I’m not a magician. And I’m not using magic. If you’re asking why I’m not scared… well, I just don’t find you scary. I like spiders.”

“You like spiders? But I’m this big. I’m a monster…”

“I have figurines of giant spiders from movies at home. When a creature you love is massive, that’s a reward, not a punishment.”

The Spider Witch tilted her head a few times, her mandibles clicking as she seemed to contemplate something.

Since she was a spider, I couldn’t read her facial expressions at all, but she was definitely thinking about something.

After a brief pause, the Spider Witch slowly extended one of her legs toward me.

I wasn’t sure what she wanted, so I just grabbed it and gave it a firm shake.

The Spider Witch let out a sharp, non-human chirping sound before quickly pulling her leg back.

“You’re really not scared. Not even a little. Why? I’m so terrifying and ugly…”

“Huh? What? Who said that!? I’ll go beat them up! Ah, no, I can’t do that… but the Blue Witch will!”

As I threw some shadow punches to prove my point, the Spider Witch laughed.

She laughed—while shedding clear liquid from her seven compound eyes.

Wait. What? Is she… crying? Do spiders even cry? And why is she crying!?

This is awkward!

Not knowing what else to do, I pressed a handkerchief to her face to wipe her tears. She cried for quite a long time before finally stopping.

“Uh… are you okay now? Sorry about that, I guess?”

“No, don’t apologize… I’m just really happy. Meeting someone who isn’t afraid of me makes me so happy. Even the Vampire was at least a little scared of me…”

“Huh. Sounds rough.”

She became a witch, awakened to some fear-inducing ability, and yet she hates being feared? That’s gotta be tough. Life sounds exhausting for her.

Oh, wait… Is that why she cried? She hates being feared, but everyone keeps fearing her—until she met me, who was completely unfazed.

Yeah. That makes sense. Must be hard.

“What’s your name…?”

“O… no, 0933.”

“0933!? The staff craftsman? But aren’t you locked up in the Blue Witch’s basement…?”

“What kind of rumors are going around!? No, no, that’s not true. The Blue Witch is my best friend. I just don’t like people, so she helps keep them away from me.”

“You don’t like people? But you don’t seem like that at all… Ah. Is it because I’m a spider…?”

“Exactly.”

When I nodded, the Spider Witch let out an inorganic clicking sound.

“I see. For the first time, I think I’m actually glad I turned into this form… Oh, right. You said you were here to help a friend, right? I’ll help. Though I doubt the Blue Witch needs it…”

“Ah, no, sorry, I didn’t explain properly. The one I want to help is a human—well, is she even human? She’s a stoat named Professor Kei Ohinata from Tokyo Magic University.”

“Ah, I’ve heard his name before. The university is in chaos right now… even the ward office has fallen…”

“Sounds like you know a lot about the situation. I have no idea what’s going on, so I’d really appreciate it if you filled me in.”

“Sure. I don’t know everything, but I’ll tell you what I do know…”

The Spider Witch reached out a foreleg toward the fire lizards, but they, terrified, hid even further behind me. She looked a little sad before beginning her explanation.

Just before the Arataki gang attacked, the Spider Witch had received a distress request from the Seer Mage.

She hated meeting people. Seeing fear made her hungry, and she despised that about herself. She also hated fighting.

So normally, she covered her territory in Nerima Ward with a mist of confusion, hid in her web, and never came out.

But she owed a great debt to the Vampire Wizard and when Foresight pleaded with her in the Vampire’s name, she couldn’t refuse. So, reluctantly, she left her web—while still shrouding herself in mist to avoid people as much as possible.

Her specialty was controlling threads. Using her eye familiars, she could gather information from underground while staying hidden. Her threads were precise and strong—she could manipulate decoys (like the fake Hiyori that tricked me) to mislead or lure enemies.

However, the farther she extended her threads, the weaker they became. In the Bunkyo Ward Office battle, they were nearly useless. She felt guilty about it, but the thought of fighting directly terrified her.

I get it. If you can avoid dealing with people, why wouldn’t you?

In the ward office battle, the Tokyo Witch Assembly managed to kill one Arataki gang witch, but they ultimately lost.

The three captured witches—Eye Witch, Night Witch, and Tobacco Witch—were taken to Tokyo Magic University, where the “Boss” and “Underboss” of the gang awaited.

At the university, the Boss’s contract magic was forcing people into servitude.

Professor Ohinata, refusing to submit—maybe to avoid being used as a hostage—had poisoned herself and was now in critical condition.

Her body was in the gang’s custody, his whereabouts unknown.

“S-she’s not dead, right…?”

“I don’t know. Probably not. And as far as I can tell, she hasn’t been moved out of the university. But the place is crawling with Arataki gang members. It’s hard to gather intel.”

“Damn…”

I clutched my head.

If witches are struggling to get information, then I have no chance. If I sneak in, I’ll be captured immediately.

And my fire lizards, who were supposed to be my bodyguards, are too scared of witches to fight them.

Maybe Hiyori was right. Maybe I should’ve just stayed put in Okutama.

But… there has to be something I can do.

If Ohinata is in enemy hands, then Hiyori is effectively out of commission.

If I can save her, I can free Hiyori.

And if Hiyori is free, we win.

But how do I save her?

As I was deep in thought, the Spider Witch tapped my arm with her foreleg.

“I’ll help you rescue Professor Ohinata. But I have one request…”

“Oh, sure! Got it.”

“…I haven’t told you what it is yet.”

“Right, sorry. Go ahead.”

“The Tobacco Witch secretly took a magic stone from the Arataki witch she killed. I have it. But… I have low magic power, and I’m not good at controlling it. And I’m scared of being around people. But if you turn this magic stone into a staff, I can use it to control my threads and magic from here to investigate the university and retrieve Ohinata.”

“Ohhh, leave it to me! Staff-making is my specialty!”

As the magic stone dangled from a thread and lowered toward me, I caught it with a triumphant fist pump.

Suddenly, the problem felt solvable.

All I have to do is what I always do—make a staff.

Then the Spider Witch will handle the rest.

Hell yeah, leave the staff-making to me!

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