Kays Translations

Chapter 82: Selecting

“I didn’t tell anyone that I was attacked on my way home from “Romi’s Bar.”

　If I told Mr. Henry, he would worry, and if I told anyone else, I would have to explain how I escaped the difficulty. The story about the animals out there needs to be explained in terms of magic. It is difficult to explain that magic well. If I lie, I’ll have to remember it.

　The easiest thing to do is not say anything to anyone.

　Today, Henry came over after work, so we decided to have a drink at “The hideaway” after closing time. Tonight’s snack was gizzard and vegetable ajillo. It is my favorite dish.

　Illustration (By Mitemin)

　Do aristocrats eat gizzards and other offals? Henry himself even took me to a restaurant that served motsu dishes, so I don’t think it’s a problem, but I asked him what it was like in terms of common sense for aristocrats.

 “Nobles eat them too. Sausages are a good use of internal organs. They also eat a lot of liver. Why do you ask that?”

“Because I am concerned about the ways of the nobility.”

　It was only recently that Mr. Glidden told me about what my grandmother had been subjected to at the hands of the great people of this world. I have been lost since then. Every time Henry brings up the topic of marriage or my adoption, I worry, “Is it okay to continue like this?”

　If it were just me, I could say, “I won’t do anything I don’t want to do, even if someone of high status orders me to do it,” but to say that after getting married, it will cause trouble for the Howler family and the family that adopted me.

“Mai, please be real with me. You two will live together forever, won’t you?”

“That, yes, we intend to.”

　I want to be with him forever, but if I insist on my principles, Henry will be caught between me and the aristocratic society.

　On the other hand, if I do as the greater powers says because I feel sorry for the person caught in the middle, it would be like accepting that what my grandmother suffered was “inevitable because it was the order of a greater power,” and I would never forgive myself.

“Please put it into words and tell me. I will accept whatever you have to say.”

“I really like you,  Henry. But I am hesitant to become a member of the nobility in this country.”

“So ……. I’ve noticed that you don’t like to talk about engagement or marriage.”

　You notice that, didn’t you? I never once mention the words “engagement” or “marriage,” right?

“You’ve lived in a country where there is no status system, so I knew it would be difficult for you to adjust to this country’s system in just a year or so.”

“There was no status system, but in the country where I was from, there was a strong tendency to consider perseverance a virtue. Even today, among older people, it is still considered good for wives and subordinates to sacrifice themselves for others. But I was not very good at that. If we got married, I’d cause trouble for you and the Howler family. So I think it’s probably best if we don’t get …… married.”

　　My grandma used to tell me, “smile and live your life.” That smile is meaningless if it’s a fake smile.

“His Majesty is not the type to make unreasonable demands of us, but in the unlikely event that a high-ranking noble tries to force something on you, I’ll shut them up.”

“How?”

“I like to read the documents in the castle. When I get tired of working, I read various documents to relax.”

“reading for relaxing……”

“When I read the documents of a family and its relatives from decades ago, I find the things that the family or clan is trying to hide start to emerge as strange things. If you read through the documents, picking and choosing what you find strange, you can uncover most of the things that are being kept under wraps. If you tell one lie about something, you will have to lie about related things as well, and there will always be some parts that don’t add up. Hehe.”

　Ooh, that’s a little scary.

“There are very few families that are completely without shady doings. We can use the fact that they are lying to the country as a foothold to make them stop forcing us to do things. If that isn’t possible… then how about we both flee to another country?”

“I am distressed because I don’t want you to do that. If we don’t get married, we’ll be strangers then I won’t cause you any trouble because of me, right?”

“Mai, you are free to do what you want even if you get married.”

　It’s not going to work that way.

　It started to rain. We both closed our mouths and could hear the rain hitting the roof.

“I have no intention of making you suffer with either my position as the head civil servant or the Howler family. I cannot thank my adoptive parents enough, but you’re still more important to me. I have no intention of leaving you.”

　I don’t want to break up either. I’m just worried about our marriage. What is it about me that makes you think I am worth it in the first place? That’s what I’m wondering about the most.

　Henry, who was sitting across from me, got up and sat down next to me.

“I became the Head civil servant partly because I worked my butt off, but also because I never got my priorities wrong. No matter what anyone said, I never made a mistake in the order in which I had to handle things. The only mistake I made was prioritizing work over seeing my mother. But I won’t make that mistake again. You are the most important person to me.”

“Hey Henry, there’s also the option of not getting married…”

“My adoptive parents will just have to accept me as a useless adopted child and scold me. No, I think it would be better if they terminated my adoption.”

　No, no, no.

　Even I, who was called “Senju’s alley cat” by my grandmother, would indeed be uncomfortable with such a situation. Why can’t we just remain lovers?

“Since the Howler family has decided to adopt a new child, the issue of succession has been resolved for you, right? In that case, isn’t it fine for us to remain lovers? I’m perfectly happy as lovers.”

“I want to marry you, Mai. I don’t want to be in a half-hearted relationship. You can live your life however you want, and I don’t mind.”

　Groan. We’re not getting anywhere.

“Also, regarding the matter of donating the diamonds you mentioned the other day, please wait a little longer. I’m discussing it with the right people.  I know it’s a little late to ask this, but why do you want to donate the diamonds, Mai?”

“The main reason is for you and Ms. Carlotta’s sake. If you can easily travel between the Kingdom of Arcetheus and here, you will be able to see her maybe once or twice a year.”

　Mr. Henry eyes widen.

“For me?”

“Yes. ‘Not seeing each other’ and ‘never seeing each other again’ are totally different things. If you part ways in death, then you can no longer get close to each other, fight, or make new memories. But if I offer you the diamonds, you’ll be able to see Miss Carlotta more easily than you do now, right?　Once is enough for me to have my life end with regrets for not doing what I want to do.”

　He suddenly hugged me tightly. Then he said, “That’s right, isn’t it?  you stood on the brink of death once. No matter how many times I hear about that, it’s painful,” he said in a small voice.

“What is your second reason for offering the diamonds?”

“It’s for the sake of all the beastmen in this country. Because the more people interact with each other, the less fear there will be. Ignorance is what breeds fear. Many people who don’t know Sophia and the others will be frightened just by hearing that they are dog-type beastmen. But Sophia-chan is so cute, Karin-san is kind, and Victor is cool. I think the more people know about beastmen, the less discrimination there will be.”

“You’re a very kind person with a big heart.”

　After saying that much, Mr. Henry suddenly became serious.

“Mai, you can make opals and diamonds, but what about rubies? Can you make them?”

“I can’t. I don’t know the ingredients.”

“Good. ……”

“Why?”

“Because I want to give you some ruby jewelry. I was planning to do so at a place with a beautiful view, but due to …… various reasons, I don’t have time to spare. Mai, will you be engaged to me?　Of course, after that, you must marry me and officially become my wife.”

“We’re back to square one.”

“My feelings will never change, so I will ask you to marry me again and again until you say yes.”

　You are surprisingly tenacious, aren’t you?　Those beautiful green eyes look at me unwaveringly.

　I see. So you can’t give up on marriage? Can’t we just be lovers?

　The thing that bothers me is that I can’t break up with Henry. I don’t want to let go of the person I love.

　I have a lot of worries. I feel like there will be problems down the road. But if Henry is so adamant about it, then I have no choice but to be determined too…right?

　Just the thought of leaving him and living on my own is enough to make me lose the will to live.

“I have to choose what’s most important to me.”

Tl note:

アヒージョ – ahiijo –Ahijyo 【(Spain) ajillo】 One of the tapas of Spanish food. Small dish made by adding ingredients such as seafood and vegetables to garlic-containing olive oil.

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