Kays Translations
Just another Isekai Lover~
Chapter 76: Just Bluff Your Way Through
Merlin stood upon the stage, his gaze calm yet sharp as it swept over the sea of restless students whispering among themselves. With a steady breath, he raised his voice, letting it carry with practiced authority.
“Fellow classmates, senior brothers and sisters,” he began, his tone tinged with confidence and just enough mystery to hook their attention, “everyone here is among the brightest minds of the Arcane Academy. Since you’ve made it here, I trust you’re all familiar with Cooling Water?”
The mention of that name sent ripples through the crowd.
Who didn’t know about Cooling Water? It was practically common knowledge. In fact, more than a few of the students present were secretly using it themselves. A handful even exchanged knowing, mischievous smiles—the kind that revealed guilty indulgence shared only by insiders.
On the continent of Aize, the practice of using Cooling Water as an enema had become something of a trend, almost a fashionable health ritual. People boasted that it could prolong one’s life, cleanse the intestines, preserve youthful skin, even grant a radiant complexion.
Of course, only the high-grade versions—those carefully refined through true alchemy—actually carried such effects. The cheaper ones, thrown together with nothing more than spices and perfumes, were not only useless but harmful to the body.
Merlin paused, then dropped his words like thunder.
“In truth, the pearl milk tea I’ve created carries effects no different from Cooling Water.”
The entire audience fell into stunned silence. Wide eyes, parted lips—no one had expected that a mere cup of sweet milk tea could be mentioned in the same breath as Cooling Water.
Merlin, seeing their bewilderment, pressed on smoothly.
“You all know that drinking milk benefits the body—it promotes health, strengthens the bones. Alchemists have confirmed this through both practice and theory.”
He let that point settle, then gestured with his other hand.
“And as for black tea? It sharpens the mind, refreshes the spirit, protects teeth, beautifies the skin, even assists in weight loss.”
The students exchanged murmurs. Some of them nodded—what he said wasn’t baseless at all.
Indeed, black tea contained moderate amounts of caffeine to heighten alertness and concentration. Its fluoride element strengthened enamel, reducing cavities and keeping breath fresh. Its theine accelerated fat burning, aiding in slimming. And its antioxidants, those mysterious tea polyphenols, swept away free radicals, shielded cells, and diminished the damage of sunlight and radiation—keeping skin youthful and glowing.
Of course, that was theory. In reality, the effects were modest at best. But theory was all Merlin needed now.
“Now then,” he asked, holding his paper cup aloft, “what are the main ingredients of my pearl milk tea?”
The students gathered in the back clearing suddenly realized, and their voices rang out in unison.
“Milk and black tea!”
“Milk! Milk!”
“Black tea! Black tea!”
Merlin smiled, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction.
“Correct. The main components are milk and black tea. Yet those alone aren’t enough to wash the marrow and cleanse the meridians. The true key lies here—”
He tilted his cup, letting the creamy liquid spill to the ground until only the glossy black pearls remained, rolling gently in his palm.
“—the pearls. These pearls are what allow you to refine body and soul. Their crafting method is… a business secret I cannot divulge. But rest assured, within pearl milk tea, they are the most precious treasure.”
His words sent the students into a daze. None of them had ever truly questioned what the chewy pearls were made of. They only knew the taste—sweet, slippery, and addictively pleasant to chew.
One student suddenly broke the silence. “Could it be… that the pearls in pearl milk tea are actually prepared with all sorts of magical elixirs?”
That suggestion ignited a spark. Heads turned, eyes widened. It made sense. Merlin had not said so outright, but his earlier words implied it strongly.
Refining the body and marrow… Cooling Water…
The connection clicked in their minds. Cooling Water purged filth from the body through, well, less than elegant means. If pearl milk tea could be compared to that, then…
“I see it now! I’ve understood!” a first-year shouted, his voice trembling with excitement.
All eyes fell on him. He coughed once, then declared with fervor, “What we expelled just now wasn’t diarrhea—it was the cleansing of filth built up within us! Our waste was the toxins of our bodies leaving us. That wasn’t sickness—it was marrow-cleansing, pure and simple!”
A wave of realization swept the crowd.
“Yes… yes! He’s right!”
“He’s right—it wasn’t food poisoning at all!”
“Heavens… to think pearl milk tea could hold such power!”
The thought of their earlier humiliation being reframed into something mystical, even glorious, soothed their shame. Some even felt guilty for having doubted the great Boss Merlin, who had generously provided them with work and sustenance.
Merlin watched them sink deeper into their own fantasies, his handsome face curling into a devilish smile.
“Marrow cleansing may sound lofty, but its benefits are real and tangible!” he proclaimed.
“Look carefully at each other—haven’t your complexions grown noticeably fairer after the cleansing?”
The students glanced at one another. And indeed… they did look paler.
(Of course they’re pale, Merlin thought dryly. They’ve been emptying their bowels nonstop. After that much dehydration, how could their cheeks possibly stay rosy?)
“And more than that,” Merlin continued, pressing his advantage, “touch your stomachs. Weigh yourselves. Haven’t you slimmed down considerably?”
The students gingerly rubbed their bellies, their limbs shaky, their steps unsteady. The lightness they felt was undeniable.
(Well, no wonder, Merlin mused inwardly. They flushed everything out. If their weight hadn’t dropped, that’d be the real miracle.)
Then, with a commanding presence, he lifted both arms high.
“Now—sit cross-legged, enter meditation, and see for yourselves whether your focus and absorption of magic have increased!”
None dared to doubt him now. One by one, hundreds of students folded their legs beneath them and entered a meditative trance.
Moments later, a chorus of exclamations erupted.
“My meditation speed—it’s soaring!”
“So much mana! This… this must be the marrow-cleansing effect!”
“Amazing! Truly amazing! Marvelous pearl milk tea!”
The sight of over a thousand students meditating together was awe-inspiring. The natural energy of the Academy’s back mountain surged, amplified by buried mana crystals, drifting like luminous currents through the clearing. Each student drew upon it unconsciously, their excitement convincing them the milk tea was responsible.
Merlin exhaled in relief. It seemed the little “digestive issue” caused by sweet potato starch pearls had been neatly repackaged as a miracle.
And if one day the students noticed the effects weren’t quite as he claimed? Well, that was easy enough to explain.
Obviously, Merlin thought slyly, you just haven’t drunk enough. Or perhaps… you’ve grown stronger, and the tea’s effect has naturally weakened. Simple as that.