Kays Translations
Just another Isekai Lover~
Chapter 74: When the Mind Holds a Toilet, Every Place Becomes a Toilet
“Boss Merlin is truly a good man. He not only gave us jobs that actually pay, but also lets us taste new products. With benefits like these, life feels almost too good to be true.” A student, unable to contain his excitement, blurted out with heartfelt admiration.
“That’s right,” another chimed in, his voice tinged with genuine relief. “Since I started working for Boss Merlin, I’ve earned enough gold coins to ease my family’s burdens. Now, I even have the luxury of sending some coins back home to support them.”
This beast-taming academy student spoke with true gratitude, for in his eyes, Merlin had given them not only a chance to earn money but also the strength to keep striving, the will to study harder, and the hope to pursue a brighter future.
“Exactly! Imagine it—just twelve hours of work a day, and we get so many gold coins in return. And the best part? We can even volunteer for overtime to earn more. Work like this? Please, may there be more of it!”
As the crowd of eager part-time students surged toward him, Merlin basked in their words of appreciation. With arms spread wide, he stood tall and magnanimous, letting their gratitude wash over him like waves.
“My dear students!” he called out grandly, his voice rolling across the open field. “Work will never end, and as long as you still have the strength and time, you can always work for me! Follow me, and I promise you this: every single meal will have sweet, fluffy steamed buns and fragrant lotus-leaf beggar’s chicken! Blind boxes—open as many as you like!”
His handsome face curved into a smile—charming at first glance, yet with a shadow of cunning lurking beneath. Inwardly, he thought with amusement: These students of another world are far too easy to fool. They’re even more pliable than the college kids back on Earth.
【Arcane Academy accepts students between the ages of 14 and 16. Most commoners enter around 15 or 16, while nobles—trained from childhood in elite magic education—start far ahead. That gap in foundation explains why Merlin, despite being only a first-year student, is already a Third-Tier Mage, while some seniors in their third or even fourth year still linger at the same level.】
“Now then!” Merlin clapped his hands, his tone brisk yet enticing. “Put down your work for a moment and each take a steaming cup of freshly brewed bubble tea. This bubble tea is made with the finest red tea, blended with rich, calcium-packed milk from the Beast-Taming Academy’s dairy herds. And the pearls inside? Ah, those are truly precious little treasures!”
The students eagerly lined up, their eyes glowing as they cupped the paper containers. Merlin watched them, inwardly certain that once they drank, the addictive sweetness would cling to their memories. From then on, they wouldn’t be able to resist spending more and more coins on it.
Of course, Merlin thought with a sly grin, the most important thing is that you are all my test subjects. Let’s see what happens when pearls made from my improved poisonous cassava start working their magic on your stomachs.
Sweetness always hid a lurking trap. Even the bubble tea of Earth had its dark side—behind its delicious flavor was a monstrous load of calories, the unseen culprit of obesity. But here, in this otherworldly land, Merlin’s bubble tea was… different. Too much of it didn’t just make one fat—it sent them running to the toilets. Maybe it could even be marketed as a weight-loss product.
The first students, unable to wait, raised their cups. This world already had paper cups and a bamboo-like aquatic plant that served perfectly as straws—Merlin had cleverly fashioned them into drinking tubes.
The moment the liquid touched their tongues, their reactions erupted:
“Heavens above, what sorcery is this? How can anything taste this good?”
“Milk? And tea? How do these flavors exist together? I can’t wrap my mind around it!”
“This drink you call bubble tea… it’s warming my heart. I don’t know why, but I feel… happy?”
“These sweet, chewy little pearls sliding down my throat… what could they possibly be made of?”
“If I could, I’d drink this every single day. It’s so warm, so comforting.”
Merlin’s eyes gleamed. Their reactions matched his expectations perfectly. These “pigs” of another world had never tasted anything remotely like this. To them, bubble tea was a king’s feast, a trump card. As for the price? One gold coin per cup would suffice.
He calculated quickly. With the wages I’m paying them, they can easily afford a daily cup. And the premium version—with just a single spoonful of honey—ha! Two coins. No one could say that’s unreasonable.
Just then, the first signs appeared. A student shifted uneasily, his hand pressing against his stomach. His expression darkened as cramps twisted within him. Soon, a wave of urgency surged through his body.
He wasn’t alone. All around, students began rushing about in sudden panic—searching desperately for toilets. Yet others, seemingly unaffected, remained cheerful. Merlin observed everything with detached interest, mentally noting each reaction.
So the hardier ones—those with robust physiques—show stronger resistance to cassava’s poison. Excellent. This data must be recorded carefully.
Clearing his throat, Merlin raised his hands once more. “Students, tell me! Is the bubble tea delicious?!”
Those who hadn’t succumbed yet instantly shot their empty cups high into the air. “Delicious! Delicious!” they roared, their voices rising like a tidal wave.
Merlin nodded with grave satisfaction. “Good. I hear your love for bubble tea. Since it’s my treat today, you shall drink to your hearts’ content! Drink until you’re full, drink until you burst! From this moment on—unlimited refills! Drink! Drink as much as you want, and leave the cost to me!”
A stunned silence fell, followed by sheer euphoria. Unlimited refills of something so divine? They could scarcely believe their luck. Excitement surged through the crowd, and the once-diligent workers dropped their tasks in a frenzy, charging toward the drink station like stampeding beasts.
“We’ll drink until we can’t stand! Dozens of cups if we have to!” some shouted with gleeful abandon.
Merlin’s lips curved into a dangerous smile, barely noticeable. Dozens of cups? You won’t even survive past the third. By then you’ll be sprinting for the toilets. And if after that you still have the courage to keep drinking, well… then I’ll concede defeat.
You think you’re the ones profiting? Hah. Remember this—I never lose.
The consequences came swiftly. Students who guzzled down cup after cup soon doubled over, clutching their stomachs as cramps and diarrhea overwhelmed them. Toilets became battlegrounds.
Fortunately, Merlin’s foresight had led him to construct a fair number of public facilities. Yet with such a massive student body, they were nowhere near enough.
Here, the law of the fist decided all. Seniors with greater strength and higher magical rank shoved aside their juniors to claim precious stalls, while the weaker ones were forced to improvise.
And so, throughout the woods, behind mounds of earth, along lonely riversides, countless students squatted in misery, forming a grotesque and unforgettable “scenic line” of wailing figures. The stench of their suffering gradually spread across the hillside.
At least, Merlin noted with mild surprise, the academy’s teachings of gentlemanly conduct seemed to have stuck. No one dared to fight the female students for a toilet stall.
But then his eyes narrowed as he spotted several Fourth-Tier Mage seniors. They had each downed more than ten cups, yet still showed no sign of illness. Intrigued, Merlin tapped his chin. Could it be that by the Fourth Tier, a mage’s body is resilient enough to completely resist cassava’s poison? Fascinating.