Chapter 165: The Mole Secret Underground Empire

We gladly invited Big Tail into our cabin after hearing that he had planned to hide in the cargo hold, sneaking fish heads from the kitchen while living at sea.

Unlike the tiger monster Dun, Tsubaki wasn’t afraid of her own flames and quickly grew fond of the constantly-following Big Tail. Big Tail also seemed to like Tsubaki, who was always burning brightly (or glowing).

The Gourmand Tribe spends most of its life underground in darkness. But apparently, every now and then they crave dazzling light with all their hearts. Whenever Tsubaki made the flames over her whole body flare up brilliantly, Big Tail would slap his little hands together and laugh hysterically in delight. The sailors, however, turned pale and came sprinting over carrying fire extinguishers, thinking there was a fire.

Sorry about our kids causing trouble.

After various incidents like that, we spent a week traveling until we finally arrived at the Middle Eastern port city of Kuwait.

Kuwait was a small desert nation where everything—from the ground to the buildings—was colored a dusty white-brown. It had a population of around 500,000. Its main industries were fishing and mercenary work.

Apparently, until some years ago, witches had ruled the country under an extremely harsh female-supremacist dictatorship that made life difficult for men. But now, after the death of the previous ruler, the second-generation demonic witches—who had grown up seeing their mother as a negative example—were trying to rebuild the administration by inviting back their exiled younger brothers. They were also enthusiastic about restoring international relations.

They were apparently pushing gender equality forward with punishments strict enough to border on excessive, and as part of their efforts to show the world they had abandoned female supremacy, they took special care to ensure foreign men were safe.

Just hearing the rough outline already sounded exhausting. If I dug deeper, I was sure even more complicated political issues would come pouring out.

But honestly, I didn’t care about any of that troublesome politics.

Because I wasn’t really staying in Kuwait.

I was staying in the secret mole empire beneath Kuwait.

We arrived at the harbor around midnight, passed through immigration, declined the hotel guidance, and went for a nighttime stroll as a group of three and one animal. Including Tsubaki’s pet owl sparrow, who had faithfully kept its distance during the entire journey, it was technically three people and two animals, but “three and one animal” felt about right.

Following His Excellency Big Tail II, who sat on Tsubaki’s shoulder and repeatedly adjusted his favorite glasses while guiding us, we eventually arrived at a communal graveyard.

A graveyard beneath the moonlight was appropriately eerie. It looked like ghosts might appear.

But with witches and demons around who could blast ghosts away even if they did appear, it wasn’t scary at all.

So reliable.

“The last time the Blue Witch visited us, we requested self-shrinking magic. However, we felt it would be improper to trouble you again should we ever invite human guests in the future, so we undertook an expansion project for the entrances to our primary burrows.”

“Oh? Is that really okay? Wouldn’t it make it easier for large enemies to invade?”

“Not at all! Humans cannot find the entrances, and if necessary, we can collapse them at any time. Besides, apart from the entrance tunnels and reception hall, everything else remains as before. Excuse me.”

As he spoke, Big Tail jumped down from Tsubaki’s shoulder, scurried ahead, and pointed at a gravestone with his forepaw.

“This is the entrance. I shall inform my brethren of our honored guests’ arrival, so please wait a moment.”

After politely bowing to us, Big Tail squeezed himself into a tiny gap beneath the gravestone and disappeared underground.

With nothing to do, Tsubaki sat on one of the gravestones, sniffed the air, and made a displeased face.

“Mi… stinks. I like Big Tail, but maybe I don’t like this place much.”

“Having a strong nose isn’t always a blessing. Also, Tsubaki, don’t sit on gravestones. Apparently that’s considered rude.”

“Mi.”

Tsubaki obediently nodded, got off the gravestone, and started amusing herself by flicking insects drawn toward her flames and burning them out of the air.

While we waited for Big Tail to return, I asked the equally bored Hiyori about the Gourmand Tribe.

Apparently, families with old bloodlines among the Gourmand Tribe often had ties with gravekeepers.

The story went all the way back to immediately after the Gremlin Disaster.

Major cities around the world had enormous populations crammed into limited land areas. When people started dying in droves after the disaster, cities became flooded with corpses.

Even cities that escaped destruction by monsters often fell into catastrophe due to poison and disease spreading from the bodies.

In Tokyo, the Zombie Witch turned corpses into zombies and collected them, preventing epidemics.

Meanwhile, in Kuwait, the Gourmand Tribe apparently helped handle corpse disposal.

Of course, there was only so much a bunch of tiny moles could do.

Still, they dragged corpses underground in groups and buried them—though while humans considered that burial, the Gourmand Tribe saw it more as food storage. They also sniffed out hidden corpses and reported their locations, forming mutually beneficial relationships with human corpse disposal workers.

The city had simply been overflowing with bodies. People were desperate enough to borrow even a mole’s help.

However, once the chaos after the Gremlin Disaster settled down, people began looking at corpse-eating moles with disgust and started exterminating them.

Originally, the Gourmand Tribe was polite and unobtrusive by nature. They offered absolutely no resistance to humans trying desperately to wipe them out. Instead, they quietly retreated underground and pretended to go extinct.

Thus, the Gourmand Tribe maintained secret friendships with only a handful of gravekeepers. Publicly, they lived as endangered pest animals. Secretly, they thrived as rulers of a vast underground empire.

Humans have history.

Moles have history too.

As we were talking, the gravestone Big Tail had disappeared beneath suddenly began moving on its own.

From beneath the grave came the cries:

Ji—! Ji—!

Peering underneath, we saw over a dozen moles in crude little clothes resembling teru-teru-bozu dolls, all straining together to move the stone.

Hey now, don’t do something this adorable.

I’m gonna fall in love with you guys!

“Terribly sorry to keep you waiting. This way please, honored guests!”

Big Tail emerged from the darkness beneath the gravestone. Then all the moles who had been moving the stone gathered before us and offered various treasures: wilted flowers, pretty pebbles, fragments of bone, dirty coins, and other odds and ends.

“My name is Glossy Fur! Mister Craftsman, trade me this for a pretty plate!”

“I am Master Stone Digger! In exchange for this, please make me fashionable fake nails!”

“I’m Sharp Nose! See, human money! Please give me a full set of mugs!”

They all spoke at once, bombarding me with requests.

Whoa, whoa, there’s too many of you!

What is this? Is this how it works? Not a bulk order for the underground empire, but individual requests!?

As I was overwhelmed by the moles’ excitement and enthusiasm, Big Tail let out an especially loud and angry Jiiii! The moles immediately quieted down awkwardly and scattered while shouting things like:

“Put me on the reservation list!”

“Don’t forget me!”

Watching them leave with puffed cheeks, Big Tail cleared his throat and bowed apologetically.

“My brethren have behaved shamefully. Ever since I showed them these glasses and formal clothes, the Empire has been in an uproar akin to an earthquake and flood occurring simultaneously.”

“You people really are adorable…”

I nodded wholeheartedly in agreement with Hiyori’s mutter.

I had thought the world had become fantasy.

But apparently, in some places, it had become a fairy tale instead.

Led by the still-annoyed Big Tail, Hiyori and I entered the Mole Secret Underground Empire from the graveyard.

Tsubaki tried to come too, but quickly pinched her nose and gave up, deciding to stay above ground.

Was it really that smelly?

I couldn’t really tell. It just smelled a bit moldy to me.

After Hiyori cast night vision magic on me, we hunched over and walked through the underground tunnel while I asked:

“It doesn’t smell as rotten as I expected.”

“Yes. It is proper manners. Humans also avoid spreading garlic odor in public places, do they not?”

“Ahhh.”

That explanation made perfect sense.

So they separated areas where foul smells were acceptable from places where they weren’t.

These guys were seriously polite.

Honestly, weren’t they more civilized than humans?

They’d score perfect marks if not for their diet.

But without that diet, they probably never would have evolved such intelligence in the first place.

Can’t have everything, I guess.

The title “Empire” was no exaggeration.

We spent several minutes walking down the gently sloping underground tunnel. And this was just the entrance. I couldn’t even imagine how vast the entire underground empire must be.

Thanks to the night vision spell, I immediately realized when we emerged into a great hall.

Though “great hall” was relative—it was about the size of a studio apartment. You could probably circle the entire domed room in twenty steps.

Still, for moles barely the size of a finger to excavate such a space was extraordinary. Thick tree roots stretched from the ceiling along the walls, clearly reinforcing the structure against collapse.

Or perhaps they had chosen this location precisely because sturdy roots already held the soil together?

Hmm. When it came to civil engineering, moles really lived up to their reputation.

Prompted by Big Tail, we sat on prepared moss cushions. Soon, several moles brought us water in rusty cans. After gratefully accepting them, other moles served mushrooms in eggshell bowls. Hiyori thanked them while nearly crushing her can from barely restrained cute aggression.

“Thank you.”

“Thanks. What kind of mushrooms are these? Are they safe for humans?”

“Yes. Smaller than those cultivated above ground, but they are mushrooms. You may eat them raw.”

When we thanked them again for their earnest hospitality toward humans, Big Tail proudly puffed out his chest and adjusted his glasses with a little push.

I was glad he seemed to like those glasses.

Meanwhile, countless moles poked their heads out from the holes connected to the great hall, staring at us curiously. Their eyesight probably only allowed them to see blurry shapes, but having creatures vastly larger than themselves inside their territory must have been fascinating enough.

“So? I heard a little about it on the ship. Basically, you want me to make tableware?”

“Yes. Above all else, that is what we wish to request. It is something our people have long desperately desired. However… my brethren also want other small items.”

“Like glasses and clothes?”

“Indeed. You are perceptive. There have also been many requests for winter tail covers, chef hats, knives, and numerous other things. For now, perhaps you could begin by making basic cutlery, and we shall compile the other requests before approaching you later…”

“Okay. Is there demand for magic wands?”

“Yes. The Poison Worm Extermination Unit submitted a request earlier. If they had wands, casualties in battle would surely decrease.”

Big Tail II let out a sigh filled with चिंता. Sounds like they had a lot on their plate.

Knowing there was demand for wands too made me even more motivated. Even if I only achieved half the fame as a wand craftsman compared to my reputation as a tableware artisan, I’d still be happy if my name became engraved into the history of the underground empire.

“And now then. Regarding payment for these various requests…”

Big Tail trailed off and stared intently at my chest area.

“Um… the shattered magic stone you carry with you… is it intentionally kept that way?”

“This? You mean the Octameteorite? Then no, absolutely not. I’m pissed about it. An evil magician named Iruma shattered this sacred relic.”

Poor Octameteorite-sama.

It had long served as the guardian deity of my workshop, yet it lost its power in exchange for delivering divine punishment upon trash.

The shattered Octameteorite had lost its ability to create a monster-repelling field like Quodents and now did absolutely nothing.

But even shattered into fragments, the Octameteorite was still the Octameteorite.

The enchanting magic stone I had first obtained.

My precious charm.

“Hmmm… I do not fully understand, but it was not deliberately divided into pieces for some purpose?”

“Right. Why?”

Unable to guess where this was going, I prompted him to continue.

Big Tail spoke carefully and thoughtfully as he made a startling proposal.

“It may be possible for us to repair shattered magic stones. Would you permit that to serve as payment?”