Kays Translations

Chapter 23

The biological drawback to the elves' long lifespan, envied by short-lived races, became apparent after a few hundred years.

"After a few hundred years, the will to survive decreases."

It seems that after around five hundred years, this becomes noticeably evident. The reason is unknown.

Simply put, the will to live diminishes, and if they do nothing, they are likely to die by suicide or starvation.

However, strangely enough, there exists a system to maintain that will to survive—

That is the "World Tree" and the "Art of Oblivion."

The World Tree has a function to "store the memories of elves."

Therefore, elves transfer their memories to the World Tree and then use the art to forget their past memories.

For example, let's say an elf who has lived for five hundred years transfers the past three hundred years to the World Tree and then forgets those three hundred years.

As a result, only two hundred years' worth of memories remain, and they start thinking of themselves as two hundred years old.

Certainly, it's not just an unusual story but rather one that is hard to grasp.

Does forgetting the past really make one feel younger? 

If I were to forget twenty years, would I start thinking, "I'm two years old"?

"............"

Well, since she's saying that, I guess I just have to accept it. It's a story only understood by those with a long lifespan.

"Hmm... why do you need to store it? Isn't forgetting enough?"

"There's a sense of unease about not having a past."

"Unease... huh?"

The erasure of memories begins with the oldest ones.

So, at the beginning, memories of birth, parents, and childhood gradually disappear. This sometimes leads to anxiety about who one is.

Therefore, as needed, elves bring back past memories and, once they've settled, forget them again.

When she finished speaking, she remained silent, as if waiting for me to understand.

Hmm... even if it's said that the will to survive diminishes, honestly, I can't quite grasp it.

Typically, when people say they don't want to live, it's often associated with depression, but dying from starvation is quite extreme.

The function of the World Tree seems to be a process of "saving an individual's HDD data to a data server." A race that can do this biologically…

Or rather than that, why would the creator make such a cumbersome system for the elves?

Oh... did the creator not realize it!

They probably didn't realize that making them long-lived would lead to self-destruction. So, as a makeshift solution, they created the World Tree system... that's the feeling I get.

I somehow feel satisfied that I've arrived at the right conclusion.

Huh... there's something bothering me, though—

"Hmm... do you remember saving your memories?"

"I don't remember."

"So how do you bring them back?"

"There are a few elders who have been continuously holding onto their memories."

"What!"

Several elves, known as the village elders, have been continuously holding onto their memories from the beginning. They work towards maintaining the village and conserving the World Tree.

They are the ones who undertake the task of bringing back the memories for elves who are troubled by anxiety.

Naturally, their own will to survive also decreases rapidly. So, to ensure they don't die, they take turns temporarily storing their memories and doing a full restoration.

I see...there are multiple administrators for the World Tree server, and they perform regular maintenance tasks.

Maintenance tasks on a millennium scale... that's incredibly intense.

—And then, I realized something crucial.

She said she has no memories... which means—

"Tinameril-san, what about memory backups—saving?"

"Of course, I don't have any."

I see. She can't hold onto her memories, so she's forgetting everything.

Oh...she mentioned earlier that not having a past makes her anxious.

How many years' worth of memories has she erased? Several hundred years—no... it's undoubtedly well beyond a thousand years.

That's truly painful... "painful" is an understatement. Even I, who has lived for only a few decades, can feel it.

She can't save memories because she doesn't want to forget them. However, if she doesn't forget, her will to survive decreases, making it unbearable to live.

Not being able to back up and choosing to forget must be extremely frightening—after all, she admitted to feeling anxious without a past.

Thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.

No, seriously, that's terrifying—memories, you know!

It's like moving a massive file of memories to the trash bin and clicking "Empty Trash" without any backup…

I can't do it! I can't do it!... I couldn't do it!

How many times has she done that... trembling in fear—

Oh—she doesn't even remember that, huh...

I can't tell whether it's painful for her or not... 

I don't know what to say to her. I can't find the right words.

Although her expression revealed no emotions, to me, who listened to her story, she seemed a bit lonely.

An elf who longed for the outside, took an interest in people, and went out, but due to the fate of a long-lived species, erased past memories.

In those erased memories, there were probably the purposes and hopes of wanting to go outside.

Not only the origin and childhood memories but even the reason for "why she is living in a human city" remains unknown, living without understanding.

No, it's not just that! She's an elf, not a human!

One elf among different creatures... the loneliness must be overwhelming!

I realized that her situation is on a level I can't even imagine.

It's understandable that she wanted to go outside. It must have been her nature.

But if she goes out and can't back up, she forgets her goals and feelings... didn't she realize that when she decided to go out?

Probably, it's either "she realized but couldn't control her feelings" or "she truly didn't realize."

And in the end, it might be "I forgot, so it doesn't matter either way."

—Wait a minute... she did forget various things, right? Huh?

"Oh... huh!?"

Raising my right hand as if to throw a wrench into the conversation.

"Um... earlier, didn't you say that the language you were speaking was 'the language of the elves from the great forest'?"

"Yes."

"That's it! Do you remember your origin?"

"...I don't remember."

"Huh!?"

She should have forgotten about the village, but she remembers the name of the forest she came from... that's contradictory.

She then slowly stood up and retrieved a book from the drawer.

Handing it to me, she encouraged me to open it.

As I opened the book, on the back of the cover, the following words were written—

‘Your name is Tinameril, the one reading this. These are your memories.’

And from the first line,

‘You were born as an elf in the Great Forest of Justinbanal. Your father was Dynanmeril, and your mother was Erentia—’

The memories continued, detailing her upbringing and more.

"Um... this... is?"

"I always keep this nearby when I'm about to forget my memories. It's a writing tool for supplementing my memories."

"A writing tool!?"

"It seems like I don't write down everything, but I try to remember important things."

She's talking about herself, but it sounds like she's talking about someone else.

Apparently, the story about the elf she spoke of earlier is also written in this.

The moment I heard this, I instantly thought of a certain movie—

It's ‘Memento’.

It's a very complex movie about memory loss.

It features a detective who forgets everything from the day before when he wakes up, so he tattoos important information on his body to remember it.

There's something written on the ceiling that says, "Look at the tattoos when you wake up."

It's exactly like that.

I flip through it while she shows it to me.

It's remarkably in Japanese... it feels strange.

"Oh, by the way, is there anything written about the motive for leaving the elf village?"

"There wasn't."

"That's something I wanted to know."

"Yes."

It sounded like she was saying, "Well, it's not about me," in response to herself.

Seeing an empty tea cup, Tinameril prompts, "Tea?"

I respond with a "Yes, please."

As she picks up the tea pot to stand up, she pours hot water into the teacups on the tea table and disposes of the tea leaves in the strainer.

She put tea leaves into two cups again and poured hot water from the pot.

Come to think of it, she's the deputy guild leader... and here I am, having my superior make tea for me, feeling somewhat apologetic.

At this moment, something that is normal in Japanese daily life—having hot water in the pot without feeling any discomfort—isn't registering as odd. 

In this world, there's no thermal pot, so normally, the water would cool down. I would later realize the reason it's not cooling.

Waiting for her to sit back down, I bring up another important question.

"Oh, by the way, about the language you're speaking not being Elvish... what does that mean?"

"I mentioned there are many elf communities, right?"

"Yes."

"Languages can be understood between close communities, but not with distant ones."

"... So, it's like how different regions have different languages among humans?"

"Yes."

"Ah, I see..."

For humans, Elvish is considered a single language, but for elves, is it different among tribes?

In other words, is it like dialects? Kagoshima dialect and Tsugaru dialect won't necessarily be mutually intelligible.

So, the language she speaks is known only within her community. Since she's the only one who went outside, there's no way humans would know it.

"Oh, I see."

I recall our initial exchange.

"When I said I learned it in school, you denied it."

She smiles as if saying, "That's correct," squinting her eyes. Once again, her face flushes as if she's embarrassed.

I try to calm down and think for a moment.

"But you remember the language well. Aren't there people to speak it with?"

"That's true, but if you self-study for three hundred years, you won't forget."

"Oh, so you have memories from three hundred years?"

"Yes."

"Huh? Isn't it two hundred years that remain?"

"You can choose the number of years."

While she mentioned not being able to talk about the 'Secret Art of Oblivion,' she gave a brief explanation of the system.

When you want to forget a certain number of centuries, you use the secret art. During that, you decide the remaining number of years.

Usually, it's around two or three hundred years, and there are even people who leave only a hundred.

However, it seems you can't go below a hundred, and the reason why is unknown. It's just that kind of secret art.

"Perhaps it's to accommodate humans at least?"

"............"

"If you end up forgetting everything, you'd just be a senile old person."

I realize I unintentionally made a tactless comment. However, there's no change in her expression as she sips her tea.

That was a bit too much... Let's hope she didn't catch on.

Nevertheless, the ecology of elves is surprising.

Pure-blooded elves never leave the forest and are hostile. Elves who leave the forest lead a lonely life away from human settlements, and those who live in human cities are a rare species.

I expected something like adventurers from anime or manga, but it seems that's not the case.

"It was a shock because it's different from what I imagined."

"Hm?"

"Well, in Japan, elves are popular for being friendly with humans. You can visit elven villages, live together, and I had imagined something like that."

She seems to be somewhat interested in my story.

"Especially forming a party together and going on an adventure is a classic, and I was expecting something like that."

Then, as if she remembered something, she raised her gaze slightly and then smiled at me.

"They exist."

"............Huh?"

I involuntarily become flustered.

"There are elves adventuring, and there are elves living with humans."

"Really!?"

I widen my eyes in surprise. The conversation feels a bit chaotic.

If they're exclusive, there's also interaction; I thought Tina Meril was the only loner elf, but apparently, there are others.

In the end, I feel like asking, "What are elves, really?"

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