Chapter 67: Codependency

“You’ll still… rely on me, won’t you?”

It was nothing more than an act of escape.

In the end, what I was saying wasn’t any different from how the Pacific War had ended—breaking a nation’s will by burning innocent civilians with overwhelming force. Only this time, it would be magic instead of nuclear fire. The plan, if it could even be called that, was to crush the Kingdom of Friez in the same way.

And I had just pushed that final role… onto my own sister.

A vile, despicable thing to say—yet upon hearing it, Shia reached out and took my hand.

“I’ll do anything!”

Her voice overflowed with joy.

“For you, Noah, anything! I’ll kill anyone—no matter who they are! No matter how many!”

Her eyes sparkled with a feverish light, her cheeks flushed red with excitement. There was something almost rapturous in her expression—something that carried a clear trace of madness.

“……”

I found myself holding my breath at the sight.

“After all, I’m your Oneesan!”

“…Thank you.”

Had I… truly been forgiven for choosing to run away like this?

“S-so… it’s not like that’s the only reason, but… for now… may I rely on you?”

“…Yeah, of course.”

Gone was the feverish intensity from moments ago. In its place, Shia now wore a fragile, almost timid expression. I nodded gently in response.

“Hehe… of course you can.”

Seemingly satisfied, she rested her head against my shoulder.

“Noah, you’re still so small.”

“Hey! I’ll grow someday, you know!”

Our heights weren’t that different, yet just as always, I was the smaller one and she the taller. The way she leaned her head on my shoulder looked slightly awkward—but somehow, it felt natural.

“I even make sure to get enough sleep…”

Proper nutrition, on the other hand, was impossible.

On the battlefield, there was no such thing as a balanced, nourishing meal. Even if there were, I’d probably end up overeating and throwing up. So at the very least, I made sure not to cut back on sleep—but despite that, I hadn’t grown at all.

Was it because the most important factor—nutrition—was completely lacking?

“I’m glad to hear you’ve been sleeping properly.”

“…More or less.”

Though, come to think of it… even if I lay down properly, there were nights when nightmares jolted me awake. Maybe the fact that I wasn’t truly resting was part of the problem.

Wait… does that mean I’ve got nothing going for me?

“I’ve started sleeping properly too,” Shia said softly. “If I hold onto your clothes when I sleep, I can dream about you. It’s… nice.”

“…Oh?”

“But eating is another matter. I just can’t stand the idea of being fed by someone else. Even though I’ve lost both my arms… it still feels wrong. So lately, I’ve been trying to eat on my own, but… like this, I can’t really manage a proper meal. I have to lower my face to the plate just to eat. Even then, it’s barely presentable… so nutritionally, it’s not great.”

“…I see. It really does bother you, huh? When I helped feed you before… did you dislike that? Should I stop next time?”

“You’re different, Noah! You’ll feed me properly! That’s an order from your Oneesan!”

“Well, if it’s your order, I guess I have no choice.”

“Then let’s go eat. Let’s go to the usual place, shall we? I haven’t been there in a while.”

“Yeah… let’s do that.”

Still close together, we made our way toward the shop’s exit.

“…Noah.”

“Hmm?”

Just as I reached out to open the door, she called my name.

“When it really matters… rely on me, okay? …I want to live for your sake.”

“…Thank you.”

It was… a dangerous relationship.

Shia seemed more stable than before. Stronger, even.

And yet, at the same time, her dependence on me had only deepened.

…And the same was probably true for me as well.

Codependence.

There was no way something like that could be healthy.

“Alright… let’s go.”

“Mm!”

Even so—

I couldn’t bring myself to change it.