Chapter 37: Pancakes and Escapism

Kirara began speaking with tears shimmering at the corners of her eyes as she shoveled mouthfuls of white rice and pork miso soup into her mouth.

“Y’know, both my parents borrowed money from loan sharks and then vanished without a trace.”

“Whoa! That got dark really fast!!”

“Eight. You did the same thing when I told my story, but it is not good manners to make light of someone who is trying to speak seriously.”

“Ah… right. Sorry.”

After being scolded by Raphiel, I obediently fell silent and sipped my green tea while listening to Kirara recount the story of her life.

And what a story it was.

It was nothing short of tragic.

“They kept saying stuff like, ‘It’s only natural for a child to repay her parents’ debts,’ and before I knew it, I’d been sold overseas.”

“W-What…?”

“I only found out recently from someone that kids aren’t actually responsible for paying off their parents’ debts. But back then I’d just graduated elementary school—I was only in my first year of middle school. There was no way I understood anything about laws. While they were transporting me overseas on a ship to harvest my organs, a storm hit. The ship capsized and…”

“U-Ugh…”

“Then, when I came to, I was in this world. I had no idea where I was or what was going on. I wandered around a forest completely lost, got my arms and legs bitten off by monsters… and while I was lying there, half-dead, covered in my own blood, piss, and shit, old Lady Larsa happened to pass by and save me. After that, she introduced me to an insanely skilled adventurer who trained me. And that’s how I ended up where I am today.”

That wasn’t just a turbulent life.

That was a nightmare masquerading as a life story.

The kind of suffering that sounded too cruel even for a work of fiction.

I stared at her in stunned silence.

No wonder she looked at the world the way she did.

No wonder there was bitterness buried beneath her jokes.

“So honestly? I kinda hate Kiwi.”

“Kiwi…? Ah, you mean me!?”

Well…

From Kirara’s perspective, I could understand why.

Compared to everything she had endured, I probably looked ridiculously fortunate.

Then a realization suddenly struck me.

Ah.

“The reason you pointed a sword at me the moment we met was…”

“Personal grudge. It’s true that I wanted you to understand what it means to be the one protecting people, but seventy percent of it was pure personal grudge.”

“That’s… surprisingly honest.”

“E-Even so, I still think it’s wrong to point a sword at someone without warning!!”

That’s right, Amate.

Tell her off some more.

“According to what Granny Larsa told me, twenty-three intruders entered this village. Every single one except one was killed. Compared to that, what do you think?”

“Uuu…”

“Kirara, if you make Amate cry, then Eve and I will be your opponents.”

“Huh? Why am I getting dragged into this?”

Raphiel immediately assumed a fighting stance.

…Come to think of it, was it really okay for Kirara to call Cardinal Larsa “Granny”?

I’d heard that anyone who openly called her an old hag tended to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

Hopefully Kirara’s status as a survivor of endless suffering granted her some immunity.

“Incidentally, people like Kirara are called Drifters.”

Raphiel smoothly changed the subject.

“As a general rule, individuals summoned by a goddess, such as Heroes, possess special powers. Drifters do not.”

“Yep. Imagine finally getting isekai’d and discovering you didn’t get a single cheat ability. Talk about disappointment.”

“You’ve really been through a lot…”

Wait.

Something she said earlier caught my attention.

“Um… going back a bit. You mentioned that someone told you children don’t have to repay their parents’ debts?”

“Oh, that? There are other Japanese people in this world besides me.”

“Seriously!? There are that many of us? Where is that person now?”

“They run the underworld of the royal capital.”

“…What?”

“Officially, they’re a government bureaucrat working in the castle. Unofficially, they’re the boss of the Assassin’s Guild. Oh, this is a secret, so don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Dear fellow Japanese person whose face I’d never seen—

Please stop telling classified information to people with loose lips.

And seriously…

Boss of the Assassin’s Guild?

Those were not words I wanted to hear so casually.

At that exact moment, the door opened.

Grana staggered into the room looking utterly exhausted.

“I have returned…”

“Ah, Grana. Welcome back.”

“It has been several days, Grana. You seem quite busy.”

“I have spent those days being interrogated relentlessly by nobles and royalty regarding Raphiel-sama.”

“I am innocent.”

Raphiel immediately looked away from Grana’s accusatory stare and began whistling badly.

Very badly.

Over the past few days, Grana had been absent from Papel Village and constantly traveling to and from the royal capital.

Apparently there had been discussions between the Temple and the Kingdom of Elde, and she had attended them as Raphiel’s representative.

I didn’t know the details.

But considering the circumstances, they almost certainly involved me as well.

Honestly, I felt a little guilty about causing so much trouble—

“Ah, right. Eight-dono, take a look at this.”

“Hm? What is it?”

Grana handed me a document.

The moment I looked at the contents, written in the language of this world, my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

“Um… Grana? Unless I’m reading this wrong, it says that the King of the Kingdom of Elde wishes to meet with me personally…”

“Good news. Your eyesight appears perfectly functional.”

“No, no, no, NO!!”

The king!?

The actual king!?

You couldn’t just throw someone straight into an audience with the ruler of an entire nation!

That difficulty curve was insane!

Right.

“How about I make some dessert?”

“Eight has begun fleeing from reality.”

“Well, I understand the feeling…”

Ignoring reality entirely, I pulled out my smartphone and started searching for something simple to make.

Then something caught my eye.

“Oh, pancakes might be nice.”

Even someone as bad at baking as me could handle pancakes.

After all, the instructions were literally printed on the back of the pancake mix package.

Truly, food manufacturers were the unsung heroes of civilization.

First, I cracked eggs into a bowl.

Then I poured in milk and whisked the mixture thoroughly until it became smooth and uniform.

As a secret ingredient, I added a little mayonnaise.

It sounded strange, but it made the finished pancakes moist, fluffy, and slightly crisp.

Highly recommended.

After that, I added the pancake mix and folded everything together lightly.

The trick was not to overmix.

A few lumps were perfectly fine.

Mixing too much would make the pancakes less fluffy.

“Once the batter is ready, heat a frying pan over medium heat…”

When the pan reached the proper temperature, I briefly pressed it against a damp cloth to cool it slightly.

That little trick helped create an even golden-brown finish.

“Then pour the batter from high above in one smooth motion so it forms a nice round shape…”

The pancakes cooked slowly over low heat.

Bubbles gradually appeared across the surface.

Once enough had formed, I flipped them.

The opposite side cooked just as slowly.

A warm, sweet aroma filled the room.

Everyone watched with anticipation.

And when both sides were perfectly done—

“Pancakes complete.”

All that remained was adding toppings.

Butter.

Maple syrup.

Chocolate sauce.

Whipped cream.

The works.

After arranging everything neatly, I carried the stack into the living room and placed it before everyone.

The first person to react was Kirara.

And her reaction was explosive.

“What is this!? Pancakes!? And these toppings are insanely fancy!!”

“They’re hotcakes, technically.”

“No, you’re a god! Doesn’t matter what they’re called—you’re a god! I’m officially your fan from today onward, Eight-kun! The Papel Village Adventurers’ Guild branch will devote its full strength to protecting you!”

“Thanks, I guess. Go ahead and eat before they get cold.”

“Time to dig in! …HOLY CRAP!?”

Kirara’s eyes widened.

One bite was all it took.

Soon Raphiel, Eve, Grana, and Amate followed suit.

“The outside is crispy while the inside is unbelievably fluffy!! The gentle sweetness of the maple syrup and the rich sweetness of the chocolate sauce are combining on my tongue into a Fusion Summon!! No… perhaps this is closer to a Synchro Summon!!”

“Has Raphiel-sama become obsessed with another anime…? Still, the browning is beautiful…”

“I’m adding condensed milk to mine.”

“It’s delicious, Father!!”

I nodded with satisfaction.

There really was something special about watching people smile while eating food you had made with your own hands.

The warmth spreading through the room was enough to make me forget all my worries.

For a moment, anyway.

“Now then, Eight-dono. About your audience with His Majesty—”

“Grana, would you like another serving?”

“Mm, gladly.”

Grana accepted the refill.

Then she smirked.

“However, changing the subject will not help you. The date of the audience has already been decided.”

“Guh…”

There was no escaping it.

I would just have to face reality.

Grandpa’s suit should still be hanging in the closet.

I’d better iron it before the trip.

That was right.

There was no reason to be nervous.

Even if I was meeting a king, Cardinal Larsa—a figure possessing immense authority and influence within the Temple—was backing me.

Nothing would happen.

Everything would be fine.

Probably.

Surely.

…Right?

Several days later.

“Ladies and gentlemen! The time has come! We now begin the duel between Tardolf, the Kingdom of Elde’s greatest court chef, and Eight, the master of otherworldly cuisine who captivated even a Saintess!”

“““OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”””

The deafening roar of tens of thousands of spectators shook the air.

The ground itself seemed to tremble beneath the thunderous cheers.

Having arrived in the royal capital of the Kingdom of Elde for the sole purpose of attending an audience with the king…

I somehow found myself standing in the very center of a colossal colosseum.

Rows upon rows of seats stretched endlessly in every direction.

The arena was packed.

Thousands.

No—tens of thousands of people filled the stands.

The atmosphere was electric.

Excited.

Chaotic.

Completely insane.

High above, in the luxurious VIP section, the king himself sat upon an ornate throne-like seat.

And he was looking directly at me.

Grinning.

Smugly.

As though this entire situation were the funniest thing he had seen all year.

My brain froze.

My soul left my body.

And only one thought remained.

…How the hell did this happen!?