Volume 1
Chapter 1: The Saintess and Cup Noodles
“Boil the water~ pour it up to the inner line~ wait three whole minutes~”
Humming cheerfully to myself in the kitchen, I poured steaming hot water into my cup noodles. The fragrant scent of instant broth immediately began to rise with the vapor, filling the tiny room with a strangely comforting warmth.
Then, before I knew it, the three minutes had already passed—
“But I’m still not eating yet!! Because when the noodles get a little soggy, it feels like there’s more to eat, so it’s kind of a better deal!!”
I loudly declared that excuse to absolutely nobody, crossing my arms as I solemnly waited for the noodles to soften even further.
And right at that moment—
A violent pounding suddenly rattled the front door.
Startled, I hurried outside while worrying that my cup noodles might overcook beyond salvation, only to find an old man standing there.
He was bent nearly double at the waist, frail-looking and trembling with age.
“Village Chief? What’s wrong? Why are you in such a panic?”
“It’s terrible!! Eight, this is terrible!! Goh—gehok—!”
“H-Hey, Chief!? Are you okay!?”
“N-No need to worry… I merely lost my breath because I ran here…”
“You’re over a hundred years old! Stop sprinting around like that!?”
The man before me was the village chief of Papel Village, a tiny settlement tucked away deep in the remote frontier of the Kingdom of Elde where I lived.
He was supposedly turning one hundred this year, yet the old man still insisted he was in the prime of his life.
Honestly, at this rate, he looked like he might survive another century, and that thought was genuinely terrifying.
“So what’s this emergency about? Did something happen?”
“It’s the Saintess!! The Saintess herself has arrived in Papel Village during her pilgrimage and wishes to stay the night here!!”
“The Saintess? You mean one of those women blessed by the goddess? The ones who heal the sick and wounded and maintain the great barrier that protects the kingdom from monsters?”
“Yes, exactly!!”
The Kingdom of Elde was considered one of the greatest nations in the world.
And the Saintess held a status second only to the king himself.
So hearing that someone of such importance had come all the way out to our insignificant little village looking for lodging… yeah, that absolutely counted as a major incident.
“In the future, we shall surely promote this village as the sacred land where the Saintess rested her divine body! Therefore, every villager must work together to properly entertain her!”
“You’re surprisingly opportunistic for an old man, Village Chief.”
“However, as you well know, this Papel Village has absolutely nothing to offer. It’s a worthless backwater dung-hole of a countryside village.”
“Could you stop verbally abusing your own village for one second!?”
Still… I couldn’t exactly deny it.
Papel Village was peaceful and pleasant enough, but it had no famous specialty products, no tourist attractions, nothing noteworthy whatsoever.
“But,” the chief continued dramatically, pointing at me.
“This village has you!! And your mysterious, unbelievably comfortable house full of strange inventions that don’t even exist in the royal capital!!”
“…Don’t tell me.”
“Indeed!! I want you to let the Saintess and her escorting Holy Knight stay at your home!!”
“No way!! That’s way too much responsibility for me!!”
“I beg of you!! Please!! Think of it as the final wish of an old man nearing the end of his life!! If you refuse, I shall perform a naked dance in front of your house for an entire day! Just imagine opening your front door every morning and seeing my fully exposed old body standing there!!”
The old man dropped to the ground in a perfect dogeza right in front of my doorway.
Could he decide whether he was begging or threatening me already!?
“…Sigh. Fine. I guess I don’t really have a choice.”
“So that means!?”
“You helped me settle into this village, so I owe you one. I’ll do what I can. But if anything goes wrong, I’m not taking responsibility, okay?”
“I am forever in your debt!! Truly, kindness toward others always comes back around!! I feel like going back in time and giving the me from three years ago a deep kiss!!”
Nobody on earth wanted to picture one wrinkled old man deep-kissing another wrinkled old man.
As I silently screamed that retort in my head—
“Pardon me for interrupting your conversation.”
A clear, bell-like voice drifted through the air.
Instinctively, I turned toward it—
—and froze.
Standing there was a girl so beautiful that “breathtaking” didn’t even begin to describe her.
Her long snow-white hair shimmered like freshly fallen snow beneath sunlight, while her golden eyes radiated with a brilliance reminiscent of the sun itself.
Her expression, however, remained completely motionless, giving her an oddly cold and distant aura.
Yet despite that—
Her pale skin, slender waist, curvaceous hips, and thick, supple thighs all combined into a figure so stunningly feminine that it was difficult to look away.
And above all else—
Her chest was incredibly generous.
She wore a pure-white nun’s habit tailored so tightly that every line of her body was impossible to miss, and hanging from her chest was a sacred geometric emblem.
“Oho! Saintess-sama!! Allow me to introduce him! This is Eight, the owner of the home where you shall be staying!!”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Eight. I am Raphael. Though it is far more praise than I deserve, the people call me a Saintess.”
“U-Um… nice to meet you. I’m Eight.”
As Raphael gracefully bowed, I awkwardly returned the gesture with a nervous nod.
And then—
A tall figure clad entirely in silver armor suddenly stepped between us.
“Village Chief, pardon my interruption. I am Grana, Holy Knight and sworn protector of Saintess Raphael.”
“Oho!! So you are the legendary Grana-sama, the youngest person in history to pass the Sacred Trial and become a Holy Knight!! It is an honor to meet you!!”
“Ah… yes, thank you. Though that is irrelevant right now.” The armored knight turned sharply toward the chief. “Surely you are not intending to lodge Raphael-sama in the home of a young man?”
“…You make an excellent point!!”
The village chief immediately paled.
“Guh… if this goes poorly, my entire plan to revitalize the village using the Saintess’s fame will be ruined!!”
“You idiot chief!! Don’t say things like that right in front of them!!”
I hurriedly scolded the old man as he visibly trembled in frustration before the Saintess and her escort.
And then—
Without warning, Raphael quietly walked past both me and the village chief and entered my house on her own.
“W-Wait, what!?”
“R-Raphael-sama!! Entering someone else’s house without permission is inappropriate!!”
Grana rushed after her in a panic, forcing the village chief and me to follow behind.
Inside the living room, Raphael stopped in front of the table.
Her golden eyes were fixed intently upon the cup noodles I had abandoned there earlier after pouring in the hot water.
“Ah, crap. I completely forgot about the noodles!!”
“…That smells incredibly pleasant. Is it food?”
“Hm? Oh, uh… yeah. Technically. Want to try some? The noodles are super soggy by now, though.”
“…May I?”
“Well, when someone stares at it while practically drooling, it’s hard to say no…”
I handed the thoroughly over-softened cup noodles and a fork to Raphael.
“Raphael-sama!! You must not eat some suspicious object without first having it tested for poison!!”
“Grana, doubting another person’s kindness is unbecoming. Therefore, I shall partake of this.”
“Ah—wait—!”
Before Grana could stop her, Raphael scooped up a bundle of noodles with the fork—
—and stuffed them straight into her mouth.
“Ahyu—!”
A tiny cry escaped the Saintess.
And instantly—
“You bastard! What did you put in that food!?”
“Huh!? Nothing at all!!”
“I shall arrest you immediately!!”
“This is unbelievably unfair!!”
Just as the armored knight lunged forward, Raphael calmly raised a hand.
“Grana. This man has done nothing.”
“B-But…”
“The aroma was so delicious that I forgot I cannot handle hot food and burned my tongue.”
As she spoke, Raphael slightly stuck out her reddened tongue.
Only then did Grana finally regain his composure.
“…My apologies. It appears I jumped to conclusions.”
“N-No, no!! You’re protecting the Saintess—it’s an important duty. I don’t think you did anything wrong as a Holy Knight, so please don’t apologize.”
“But still…”
“I said it’s fine, so please raise your head already!!”
I couldn’t see Grana’s face beneath the helmet, but from the way the knight behaved, it was obvious they were painfully serious.
Meanwhile—
“Delicious. What is this? This is unbelievably delicious. The slightly salty broth intertwines beautifully with the curly noodles, holding a grand ball upon my tongue.”
“Raphael-sama!? Why are you saying such things with a completely expressionless face!?”
“So delicious… it is too delicious. I feel tears forming in my eyes. I am deeply satisfied.”
Despite her utterly blank expression, Raphael was devouring the cup noodles with astonishing speed, shoveling them down as though her life depended on it.
Maybe my first impression of her being cold and emotionless had been completely wrong.
“I have never consumed food such as this before. Compared to this, the meals served at the temple were little more than dog food.”
“Raphael-sama!! Your true thoughts are leaking out again!! Please hide them a little better!!”
“Eight, please teach me the recipe for this dish. I shall pay whatever price you desire.”
“Huh? Uh… even if you ask me for the recipe, these are cup noodles developed by a Japanese food company, so I don’t really know how they’re made.”
“…Japan? Did you come here from a foreign land?”
I quietly shook my head.
“No. Not another country… another world.”
“…Another world?”
“I guess it’d be called reincarnation rather than transportation, since I technically died once first. Well… something like that.”
My name was Eight—
—or rather, Eito Tsurugi, originally Tsurugi Akito.
A Japanese man who died in an accident on his way home from school and was reborn into another world while retaining his original appearance.