Chapter 116: Auction

The staff “Kinka Gyokujou” (“Golden Rule Jewel Staff”) made for the auction was delivered one month before the event. It came with a certificate of authenticity issued under Hiyori’s title as the Blue Witch.

Staffs from the 0933 series are frequently counterfeited. Like Picasso or Van Gogh paintings, fakes mimicking my signature quirks have occasionally been mistaken for the real deal and sold for hundreds of millions of yen. Certificates of authenticity are essential.

My staffs are high-performance, and even the early ones that lack advanced functionality now have antique value. They’re luxury items — great for display, excellent for use.

And above all, Kyanos, one of my most iconic staffs, remained in active use for 80 years. That’s like driving a luxury car from 80 years ago all the way into the present — a major contributor to the prestige of the 0933 brand.

Is there any other staff that’s lasted 80 years without a single malfunction?
A staff that hasn’t become obsolete and still functions?
No. There isn’t.

I mean, I’m amazing for crafting something with that kind of longevity — but Hiyori, who’s used it all these years without breaking it, is just as incredible.

High performance, durable, historically valuable.
A 0933-brand staff isn’t just expensive — it’s worth the price.

In particular, Kinka Gyokujou was the first officially unveiled model to include a chantless casting mechanism. The auction organizers decided to raise my proposed minimum price of 1 billion yen to a staggering 5 billion yen. In pre-recession currency terms, that’s equivalent to 10 billion yen.

I mean, I should probably trust the judgment of professional auctioneers who are way more financially savvy than I am… but isn’t that too high? I’ll cry if no one bids.

I hesitated, worried it wouldn’t sell, but the auction organizers insisted — citing time constraints.

The Kinka Gyokujou wasn’t originally scheduled but was added mid-program as a special entry.
If they started bidding from 1 billion yen and worked their way up slowly, it would waste time.
Organizers and attendees all have their own schedules, and letting the event run too late is undesirable.

In the end, they promised to buy it themselves if it didn’t sell, so I agreed to set the minimum bid at 5 billion yen, understanding their reasoning.

Looking back, maybe I was wrong to cling to the mindset of online auctions where I used to start the bidding at 1 yen.

This auction would be attended by billionaires from all over the world. Their sense of money is completely different from common folk. There probably won’t be zero bidders — or so I hope.

The day of the auction, early morning.

I entered the venue — Takamine Cultural Center in Minato Ward — through the back entrance. With me were Hiyori and Mokutan, who came along out of curiosity. Mokutan, having the same face as Hiyori, wore a mask to avoid causing confusion.

The name Takamine came from the real name of the vampire mage. The building was erected by volunteers in Minato and witches who knew him in life, as a tribute.

Its social status is similar to that of the old-era Nippon Budokan. It hosts large-scale events every month — concerts, magical performances, major film premieres, and so on.

At the top floor of the center is a VIP room with a one-way mirror offering a view over the venue. That’s where I would be observing the auction from.
The fact that we were allowed to monopolize the VIP room — even over oil tycoons and ranch kings — shows just how central the Kinka Gyokujou is to the auction.

After we arrived, Hiyori unpacked the wooden box that housed me and threw the auction catalog at me.

“Here. Dairi, keep this on you.”

“Ohh. You already read it?”

“More or less.”

While answering, Hiyori was checking behind paintings, lifting sofas, tapping the carpet with her foot — making sure everything was safe.

Mokutan had her face buried in the room’s fridge, gleefully pulling out wine bottles, fancy cakes, and fresh fruit. Like a kid exploring the minibar in a hotel room. Adorable.

“Mii! I know this! Roast beef! Spider-san likes this. I’ll take it as a souvenir!”

“Seriously? They stocked that too? No idea if anyone’s even going eat it.”

While Mokutan and I were enjoying the ridiculously expensive VIP room, guests began entering the venue. Nearly everyone wore a suit or a formal dress.

Hmm. All humans, huh?

Do transcendents not care about auctions?

Then again, maybe some of them are just indistinguishable from humans.

“I thought the Dragon Witch might show up.”
“Hmm? She did.”
“Eh? Where?”
“Front row. Next to the girl with the colorful hair — that’s Jamie.”

I followed Hiyori’s gaze through the one-way glass. Sure enough, there was a person with vividly colored hair in the front row. An older woman sat beside her, lounging confidently.

She looked like a laid-back woman in her 30s, dressed in sweats but covered head to toe in gaudy gold jewelry — necklaces, rings, the whole thing. She rudely summoned a staff member and said something before the elderly woman beside her covered her mouth.

She radiated Dragon Witch energy — but she was human? Weird.

“That one? Why’s she human?”

“She can’t enter in her dragon form — too big for the entrance. Didn’t you know? That’s her true form. Her species is a shapeshifter. She’s usually in dragon form, but her real self is that.”

“Ahh… I kind of vaguely remember that.”

Now that I think about it, when I was kidnapped by her, she did switch between dragon and human forms. Despite the name “Dragon Witch,” she’s not actually a dragon. But hey, the Blue Witch doesn’t have blue skin either.

Her old lieutenant, Zaizen-san, must be dead by now. Maybe that colorful granny next to her is the current lieutenant? I’m not sure anyone’s got her on a leash though — that’s a bit worrying.

“Hey, Hiyori.”

“I get it, Dairi. Jamie’s with her, and I doubt she’d try to rob the place in broad daylight… But shall I put some pressure on her just in case?”

“Please do.”

Hiyori pointed Kyanos at the Dragon Witch through the mirror — and she promptly fell out of her chair.

Panicking, she scrambled across the floor, hid behind the old lady’s legs, and started yelling something while looking up at us. Hiyori just snorted and shrugged.

“‘Don’t scare me like that! I’ll sue!’ — that’s what she said.”

“You can hear her from here? Lip reading?”

“Nah. I can pretty much guess what the Dragon Witch is saying. Lately, she’s been running petty scams to steal treasure. ‘I’ll sue!’ is her new favorite line.”

“That’s the worst. She hasn’t changed a bit.”

In a world where people I once knew have died, and so much has changed since I was alive, the Dragon Witch’s complete lack of progress somehow feels… comforting.

Damn it, Dragon witch. You’re supposed to be strong — why are you such a small-time crook?

While we were looking down at the venue, the seats gradually filled up.

The massive hall of the cultural center was lined with neat rows of chairs, into which famous billionaires began settling.

To my horror, they all stood around chatting with drinks in hand, laughing loudly with the people nearby.

Not a single person sat alone in silence.
No way they’re all actual friends, but they were all plastered with smiles, chit-chatting away.
Ah yes — this must be what they call “socializing.”

Scary. That was pure hell.
I’m glad I stayed in the VIP room. If I had gone down there, I’d be dead ten times over.

As I kept watching them out of morbid curiosity, the venue eventually filled to capacity, and the auction began.

After a light greeting from the host on stage, the first item was wheeled in on a cart, and bidding commenced.

According to the catalog in my hand, the first item was the first edition of the magic language poetry anthology “Shooting Star Stair” by Walt Myers, one of the defining poets of the 21st century.

Walt Myers was a magic linguist, a historian, and a poet.
He used magic language to express the emotional weight of historical events, great figures, and cultural shifts following the Gremlin Disaster.

He had a major influence on theater and film. The adoption of magical language as a universal tongue was largely due to his work. Even Hiyori’s transcendence certification is written not only in Japanese but also in magic language — and that’s his influence too.

He was one of the many great figures who were born and died while I was gone from the world.

The bidding, which started at 10 million yen, steadily climbed and soon surpassed 50 million.

Hmm… so going five times the starting price happens easily.

Of course, it depends on the item, but if we follow that logic, Kinka Gyokujou, with its minimum bid of 5 billion yen, could easily go for 25 billion. That’s practically a national budget for a small country.

Could a single staff really end up being worth as much as a country…!?
Actually, that might not be such a stretch.

The billionaires kept throwing outrageous amounts of money at a single book, and the first item up for auction, the first edition of Walt Myers’ magic language poetry collection “Shooting Star Stair”, sold for 81.5 million yen.

That’s not the kind of price you expect for a book.

If something like that, basically the “starter” of the event, fetches that much, expectations naturally soar for the main event — Kinka Gyokujou.

The next lot was also a book: “Collected Fragments of an Unknown Epic, 1st edition, 2035.”
The third item, “Bone from the Dragon Witch’s Foot,” was purchased by the Dragon Witch herself, who clearly spared no expense.

Most of the items were grouped under the loose category of “rarities.” The catalog was fascinating to look through — it listed things like “Unopened iPhone 15 with Certificate” or a “Complete Collection of Japanese and American Currency, Old and New.”

The “Complete Signed Copy of the 2024 Tokyo Witches’ Assembly Proceedings” prompted Hiyori to rise slightly from her seat and got her pretty heated in a bidding war.
In contrast, a pre-collapse ice cream tub excavated from the Antarctic base didn’t fetch much at all.

There were a lot of things I didn’t really grasp the value of.

For example, an albino female of the tiger-beast species Dun seemed absurdly overpriced to me.
And when it came to magic liquor called Nectar, I didn’t even know what it was.
By the time Hiyori explained that it was a luxury drink made by aging a mana potion until its healing effects and addictiveness wore off, the item had already been sold. Learned something new today.

The auction went on, and when the items reached about the halfway point, I started feeling like I needed a bathroom break.

Since it would still be a while before my staff went up for auction, I got up to go.

Hiyori stood up with me, like it was the most natural thing.

“Ah, just stay seated. I’m just going to the bathroom.”

“I’ll guard you.”

“To the bathroom…!?”

So this “going together” culture wasn’t just limited to girls, huh?
Is this one of those ‘I’ll go to the toilet with you, Dairi-kun!’ situations?

No thanks. How old do you think I am?

“I can go to the bathroom by myself, okay? Do you really think kidnappers would attack the venue?”
“Not exactly, but better safe than sorry.”
“Still, having a girl follow me into the bathroom is just… no. You wouldn’t want me going with you, would you?”
“…Well, no.”

As I was struggling to find the right words to talk Hiyori down, Mokutan popped out cheerfully from the classic fireplace in the corner where she’d been curled up.

“If you’re going to the bathroom, I’ll come too!”
“You’re bringing your pet to the bathroom!?”
“I’m collecting toilet paper tubes. Just one more and I’ll have ten. I want to brag to Fuyou.”

Mokutan sparkled with excitement, like an overjoyed grade-schooler.
She clearly just wants to collect them, not do anything with them. So cute.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go together then. Mokutan, you’re infiltrating the girls’ bathroom. If there’s a tube in the men’s, I’ll give it to you.”

“Mimimi!”

“Okay, Hiyori?”

“…Fine. Mokutan, protect Dairi, okay? And come back right away. If you’re not back in 10 minutes, I’m coming after you.”

With overprotective Hiyori-mom seeing us off, we left the room and stepped out into the hallway.

Even from the hallway, we could hear the buzz and cheers from the auction, giving it a lively atmosphere.

We walked quickly to avoid running into anyone and headed for the bathroom.
When I came out, Mokutan happily emerged from the girls’ room with two toilet paper tubes in hand.

“Dairi, I found two! Big score! 2 + 9 = 11!”

“Wow, Mokutan, you can add! Good job!”

“Mimimi. I’m cute and smart. I can do column addition too!”

“Seriously? That’s awesome!”

As I patted Mokutan’s surprisingly clever head, I caught sight of something moving at the edge of my vision.

Looking in that direction, I saw a single white ermine scurrying down the T-junction at the end of the hallway.

“…Wait, Sensei? Sensei—!”

I called out and waved, but there was no response.
The ermine didn’t turn back either.

Huh?

I’d heard the Professor wasn’t planning on attending the auction.
Maybe she changed her mind?

Well, she was one of the contributors — maybe she just wanted to peek in to see how high her item would sell. Sounds like something she’d do.

Thinking I might chat with him a bit, I took Mokutan and headed down the hall. Peeking around the corner to see where the ermine had gone, I found a dead end.

Well, not exactly a dead end. At the end of the hallway stood a large, heavy metal door with a plate labeled “Storage Room”, along with a standing sign that read “Authorized Personnel Only.”

But the ermine was nowhere to be seen.

That was strange.

There’s no way something as small as an ermine could open a door that big and heavy and slip inside in that form…

So where did it go?

“Sensei? Heeey…”

I even lifted the carpet laid along the hall to check underneath, but it wasn’t hiding there either.

While Mokutan and I tilted our heads in confusion, a voice came from the other side of the storage room door.

Not just one voice — several. They were talking.

No… no way. Could it be… a secret meeting between a kappa and an ermine!?

Well, maybe it’s just someone from the auction staff talking in there. But still…

“Mokutan, shhh.”
“Mimimi. Shhh.”

I signaled Mokutan to stay quiet, pressed my ear against the door, and strained to listen to the voices inside.

Then, I heard three voices — they sounded like young boys.

“You’re late, Odechi. You didn’t get spotted by anyone, did you?”

“S-sorry! O-o-o… Ode’s never run down such a long hallway before.”

“Come on now. Acchan almost got caught by a guard too.”

“Don’t underestimate my legs, man. I’m fast as hell — even if I get spotted, I’ll just outrun ‘em. And you, Bokk’n — what the hell are you dawdling for? The auction’ll be over at this rate.”

“I’m picking out treasures that we can actually carry off. We can’t exactly haul off huge loot in these bodies, can we?”

The three boys’ voices continued chatting animatedly as the sounds of rummaging echoed from within the storage room.

Still listening at the door, my eyes widened in disbelief.

That… didn’t sound like Professor Ohinata in there.

Judging from the conversation, there were probably three ermines inside.

What’s more, those three were boldly attempting to steal treasure from the storage room.

Ermine transformations weren’t exclusive to the professor, after all. It’s plausible, sure… but still, I never thought I’d witness something like this.

What the hell…

Three ermine thieves have infiltrated the auction venue’s storage room!!

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