Kays Translations

Chapter 67: Even a Toad Wants to Take the Imperial Examination

What an unlovable little brat!

Zhu Ping’an shook his head slightly, shifting his gaze away from the scheming girl Li Shu and ignoring the spoiled girl who had been pampered by her family. He then noticed the bun-faced maid Hua’er still looking at him with curiosity and admiration, which made him smile.

“I observed the heavenly signs and calculated: it will snow today.”

Zhu Ping’an brushed the snowflakes off his body and answered the bun-faced maid’s previous question with the seriousness of a fortune-teller.

The bun-faced maid Hua’er blinked her eyes, looking confused.

“You silly Hua’er, he wrote ‘It will snow today,’ and he told you that you can only open it on a snowy day. How could it not be accurate!” Li Shu couldn’t help but poke her delicate finger on Hua’er’s forehead.

Hua’er, feeling aggrieved, touched her forehead and thought for a moment. Suddenly, she lifted her head in realization, puffed out her cheeks, and glared at Zhu Ping’an, saying, “Oh, I see! I fell for your tricks again, you bad guy!”

Zhu Ping’an turned his head away, unable to suppress his laughter.

“You bad person! No matter what you say today, I won’t give you anything to eat!” the bun-faced maid Hua’er huffed angrily.

The old maid and other little maids behind the scheming girl Li Shu all laughed. In ancient times, there weren’t many entertainment options, and these people were quite looking forward to Zhu Ping’an coming to borrow books. Every time he came to borrow or return books, as long as they brought some snacks or delicacies, they could exchange that for a storytelling session from Zhu Ping’an, whether it was about strange happenings or martial arts adventures. However, this kid was quite picky about his snacks, but Hua’er always seemed to bring something he liked, and she was always the most enthusiastic. So when they heard Hua’er sulking about not giving him food, they found it amusing.

The study of the wealthy Li family was very elegant and spacious, with a rich collection of books, always drawing Zhu Ping’an’s attention.

There was a white-bearded steward managing the study. Zhu Ping’an entered the room and returned the books he had borrowed last time with both hands from the shoulder bag he carried. Only after the white-bearded steward checked the books could he choose new ones to borrow.

“Well, Young Master An truly loves books. In a few months it will be time for the Tongzi Examination. Are you going to show your skills?” the white-bearded steward teased after confirming that the books were in good condition.

The Tongzi Examination (童子试), commonly called the xiucai examination, had three stages: the county examination (县试), prefectural examination (府试), and academy examination (院试). The county examination was held in each county under the county magistrate, generally in February, and consisted of five rounds. Those who passed then took the prefectural examination, held in April under prefectural officials, with three rounds. Candidates who passed both the county and prefectural examinations were called tongsheng (童生) and could sit the academy examination, overseen by the provincial education commissioner. Those who passed the academy examination became shengyuan (生员), commonly called xiucai (秀才). The candidate who placed first in the provincial examination (乡试), a later and separate examination, was called the Jieyuan (解元).

Zhu Ping’an’s eldest uncle had passed the county and prefectural examinations and thus qualified as a tongsheng, but he had never managed to pass the academy examination. Since Zhu Ping’an’s family split off, Eldest Uncle had taken the examination twice more and failed miserably both times, just as before. In a few months, the Tongzi Examination would come around again, and Eldest Uncle would certainly participate. Rumor had it that he was already boasting that he would definitely pass this time.

As for whether Zhu Ping’an will participate this time…

“The Tongzi Examination? I think my teacher mentioned it a few days ago. At first he didn’t plan to let me take it, but one of my senior schoolmates is observing mourning at home and cannot sit the examination. Since five candidates have to register together and they were one short, my teacher said I should go experience the imperial examination and learn from it. Then when I take it for real in the future, I won’t panic. Haha, I’m just there to make up the numbers and learn from failure…”

Zhu Ping’an pondered briefly and repeated what his teacher, Master Sun, had said, then smiled self-deprecatingly.

Candidates for the Tongzi Examination had to register with the county yamen’s ritual office, giving their name, native place, age, and three generations of family history. Five candidates had to mutually guarantee one another, and a linsheng (廪生)—a stipendiary shengyuan of the same county—had to act as guarantor and issue a renbao (认保) certificate. Master Sun was a linsheng and was qualified to sponsor candidates. At first he had not intended to let Zhu Ping’an participate, but because one of the original five was observing mourning, he added Zhu Ping’an to fill the vacancy. There was no expectation that Zhu Ping’an would pass; he was simply making up the numbers.

“Well, the toad does have some self-awareness! A slick-tongued rascal like you, who only knows how to trick young girls, will pass the exam only if the sun rises in the west. If you ask me, even calling you a seat-filler is too flattering. Only the god of literature could pass; you’re just a toad.”

As soon as Zhu Ping’an finished speaking, the scheming girl Li Shu, who had followed behind him, immediately started mocking him.

After Li Shu finished speaking, she burst out laughing at Zhu Ping’an’s stunned expression, and the old maid and little maids behind her all followed suit, laughing as well.

Although Li Shu’s words were somewhat irritating, seeing so many girls laughing together in front of him was still a pleasing sight.

Zhu Ping’an merely smiled faintly in response.

Zhu Ping’an then went to the study to select the books he needed. Since the exams were approaching, he mainly picked books related to the Four Books, Five Classics, and the Eight-Legged Essays. The imperial exams in ancient times had textbooks as well, and different commentaries existed for the same classics—Zhu Xi’s and Su Shi’s commentaries, for example, were two different versions. This time, Zhu Ping’an chose a Zhong Yong (Doctrine of the Mean) annotated by Zhu Xi.

He could borrow only one book at a time. That rule had been set by none other than the scheming Li Shu, who had just mocked him. Her father, Landlord Li, doted on her to the heavens, so naturally he let her set whatever rule she liked.

After borrowing the book, Li Shu refused to let Zhu Ping’an leave unless he told a story. No story, no borrowing books.

With no choice—he was under her roof, after all—Zhu Ping’an had to continue the part of Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils that he had not finished last time.

The little maids and old maids, well-accustomed to the routine, moved chairs into place, brought out snacks, and sat in a row.

This time, though, after offending the bun-faced maid Hua’er, Zhu Ping’an didn’t get any snacks. To make matters worse, the scheming girl deliberately had the kitchen prepare a steaming hot pot filled with thin slices of lamb, fish, and vegetables, which she laid out across the table. She invited Hua’er and the other little maids to sit around the table, eating lamb hot pot while listening to the story. The deliberate smacking of their lips left Zhu Ping’an drooling.

On a snowy day like this, hot pot seemed like the perfect match.

Zhu Ping’an didn’t know how many times he had swallowed his saliva. Unable to hold back anymore, he turned to Hua’er to negotiate, “Miss Hua’er…”

Hua’er, her cheeks bulging with lamb, shook her head at Zhu Ping’an and mumbled, “Forget it, this time you’re not getting any, no matter what you say.”

“No, it’s not for the food. Could you lend me a handkerchief?” Zhu Ping’an shook his head.

“What for?” Hua’er asked, puzzled.

“To wipe my drool when I watch you all eating…”

Zhu Ping’an glanced at them, his tone calm.

Upon hearing this, the girls gathered around the hot pot burst into peals of laughter, sounding like silver bells.

“Look at how pitiful you are, and you still think you can pass the imperial exam? I’ve never seen a literary god so unambitious!” Li Shu gave Zhu Ping’an a disdainful look, clearly unimpressed with his lack of composure. “The sound of you swallowing is unbearable!”

Then, Li Shu pointed to one of the maids and said, “Go tell the kitchen to send another pot over.”

Previous chapter | TOC | Next chapter