Chapter 82: We’ll Call This “Consideration”
“End the pain in an instant, or spread it out evenly over the course of a week…”
“I’m really not thrilled by a choice where both options involve suffering…”
“So pain is the default setting, huh…?”
The moment I laid out those two options, Taketsuru and Meiko both furrowed their brows, deep lines forming between their eyes as they stared back at me.
It really didn’t seem like something worth agonizing over.
The difference was about the same as deciding whether to visit a hospital when you caught a cold or simply buying some over-the-counter medicine and riding it out.
That said, I couldn’t deny that my words had managed to cast an odd atmosphere over what should have been a pleasant lunchtime.
Deciding that dwelling on it any longer would only make things more awkward, I took the initiative and returned to my meal.
Ignoring the food that had been lovingly prepared for us would only be disrespectful to the caretaker couple who had taken the trouble to make it.
“Um… Kirishiro-kun, can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
Just as I was thinking that, Niwashita-san—who alone didn’t seem weighed down by the seriousness hanging over everyone else—asked her question at her own leisurely pace.
She had been the same way back in Fushijishi Village.
While everyone else was swept up in the situation, she always seemed to stand one step back, calmly observing the whole picture from a distance.
Come to think of it, her position among us really was an awkward one.
She had known Taketsuru for years.
She had admired him for over a decade.
And only a few days ago, the two of them had finally become a couple after discovering their feelings were mutual.
For an utterly ordinary university student like me, interacting with a “best friend’s girlfriend” was a much more delicate matter than dealing with a best friend or a childhood friend.
The problem was that there wasn’t any useful reference data for this.
Having a best friend was common enough for an ordinary university student.
But once that best friend had a girlfriend, the available examples became surprisingly inconsistent.
A male best friend often had a girlfriend.
Just as often, he didn’t.
A female best friend almost never had a boyfriend.
She was more likely to be treated as the losing heroine instead.
In short, “your best friend’s girlfriend” was a category with remarkably little data.
There was no universally accepted answer for how an ordinary person was supposed to interact with someone in that position.
Which made deciding how I should behave… unexpectedly difficult.
For now, I had simply settled on treating her politely as a guest.
Whether that was actually the correct approach, however, I had no idea.
Then the person in question—my best friend’s girlfriend, Niwashita-san—looked straight at me and asked,
“More importantly… what do you want to do, Kirishiro-kun? What do you want us to do?”
“You mean… me?”
I had anticipated her question to some extent.
Even so, that wasn’t what I’d expected.
Judging by the way she’d acted up until now, I thought she’d first make sure everyone was safe, then, if there wasn’t any real danger, leave things in my hands as long as we could all enjoy ourselves.
But instead…
She wanted to know what I wanted.
“Kirishiro-kun, you seem selfish at first glance, but you’re actually the type who keeps yourself under very strict control, aren’t you? Or maybe a better way to put it is… you’re the kind of person who sees what the correct answer is and quietly does everything you can to guide everyone else toward it. You don’t actually make decisions just because they benefit you. Even what happened yesterday eventually turned into something that helped everyone.”
“It’s not that I can see the correct answer. I simply know which path should be taken… and which path shouldn’t.”
“Gouto-kun… for ordinary people, that’s basically the same thing as seeing the right answer…”
The world Meiko saw wasn’t really all that different from the one I did.
This was simply another part of what it meant to live as an utterly ordinary university student.
Ordinary high school students, however…
Sometimes they acted irrationally.
They ignored orders to retreat.
They completely failed to notice feelings that should have been obvious with a little thought.
They chose to sacrifice only themselves.
They challenged opponents who were far stronger than they were.
They picked obvious right answers.
They picked obvious wrong answers.
And somehow…
They still continued moving forward.
I had witnessed countless people like that during high school.
People who were “ordinary” in ways completely different from me.
Well…
To some extent, at least.
The truth was, university life often left me uncertain.
Whenever I asked myself what an ordinary person should do in a given situation, one rule remained constant.
I simply refused to choose paths that shouldn’t be chosen.
That didn’t necessarily mean I always selected the path that should be.
I’d already walked those roads more times than I could count during high school.
Which was precisely why…
Now I based my choices on what felt ordinary.
Unlike back then, I deliberately chose paths that wandered between rationality and irrationality.
I tried to trace the thinking behind why an ordinary university student would choose one route over another, following those footsteps as faithfully as I could.
Niwashita-san nodded slowly several times, as though carefully organizing her thoughts before speaking.
“I don’t think ordinary people choose their paths based only on what they should or shouldn’t do. Of course, some people probably do, so this is only my personal opinion.”
“Yes.”
“I think people first have things they want to do… and things they don’t want to do. Then they struggle because those feelings overlap with what they should do—or what they shouldn’t.”
“That isn’t rational.”
“No, it isn’t. That’s why it’s so difficult. Take my relationship with Yuu-kun, for example. I agonized over it so much… but in the end, this is where we ended up. And now… I’m genuinely happy.”
“For you, that was also the path you should have taken. You simply hadn’t realized it yet.”
A faint smile spread across Niwashita-san’s face.
It was the smile of someone who had found happiness…
While still carrying the tiniest trace of guilt somewhere in her heart.
When I glanced over at Taketsuru, he merely scratched his cheek awkwardly, his face bright red with embarrassment.
Perhaps…
“Not wanting to do something” didn’t only mean something you yourself disliked.
Perhaps it also meant not wanting to do something to someone else.
If that were true…
Then I could understand why Niwashita-san had brought this up.
And why everyone else had been hesitating.
Sometimes…
The more you cared about someone…
The harder it became to choose.
After hearing her explanation, I turned to everyone I’d presented the choices to earlier.
“So, in other words… you all believe the rational decision is to solve the problem immediately. But you’re hesitating because you feel guilty about making me go through the trouble of helping you. Is that what this is?”
“It’s kind of right… and completely wrong.”
“You’re close, but you’ve somehow missed the point entirely.”
“I don’t really get it either, but… I think that’s probably not it.”
“Hm. Strange.”
As far as I was concerned, there was only one rational answer.
I couldn’t imagine any other reason for refusing to choose it.
I looked toward Niwashita-san again.
She could only answer with a wry smile.
Then, after letting out a quiet sigh that sounded almost like resignation, she smiled once more.
“It’s fine to let the other person decide what they want to do. But… as your friend, I also think it’d be nice if you told everyone what you want, Kirishiro-kun.”
“Is that… what’s considered ordinary?”
“Mm-hm. Ordinary friendships are all about helping each other. Give and take.”
If that was what ordinary meant…
Then perhaps that was how I should act.
Even Meiko wasn’t shaking her head in disagreement.
I always tried to model my actions after those of an utterly ordinary university student.
Not because it was what I personally wanted.
It was more like…
A job.
My current role.
Even when I questioned my own behavior, I still followed it because, by the standard of “ordinary,” it was the correct thing to do.
Putting all of that aside…
If someone asked me what I wanted…
If I deliberately separated my own desires into things I wanted to do…
And things I didn’t…
“Hm… I see.”
At last…
Something clicked into place.
I don’t think I’d ever actually said this aloud before, but—
“No more choices—no, that’s not quite right. You lot are taking too long, so I’ll decide. Time is too valuable to waste. We’ll solve this in the fastest way possible.”
I simply couldn’t stand wasting time on problems that could be resolved immediately.
Time was finite.
A resource that couldn’t be bought with money.
The single most valuable asset anyone possessed.
If everyone genuinely wanted to savor this as one of those quintessential summer experiences, then I could close my eyes and accept it.
But…
That wasn’t really what this was.
In that case, even if this unexpected incident was one of those ordinary events life suddenly threw at us, the quicker it was resolved, the better.
Finish the event in the shortest possible time.
Collect the ordinary life experience.
Move on.
“…Yeah. That’s exactly what I’d expect from Kirishiro,” Taketsuru muttered with a helpless grin.
“…Honestly, I was more surprised you even gave us a choice in the first place,” Meiko admitted.
“I don’t really understand what’s going on… but please go easy on us. I still want to eat watermelon.”
The moment I made the decision for everyone, the tension melted away.
Each of them smiled with the resigned expression of people who had already accepted their fate.
Only Niwashita-san still wore a slightly uncertain look, as though wondering, I guess… this is fine?
But I’d understood something important.
All I’d ever wanted was to live the perfectly ordinary university life found anywhere.
If my “best friend” and my “childhood friend” insisted on dragging ordinary events into that life…
Then my version of ordinary was to clear those events as quickly as possible.
Ignore it.
Don’t listen.
Don’t get involved.
I’d set those principles aside.
Friends shared their problems.
Friends confided their worries.
Friends worked together to solve them.
If that was the ordinary relationship Niwashita-san had described…
Then the most ordinary thing I could do was keep that cycle moving as quickly as possible.
I suppose…
This was what people called consideration.
“Well then, caretaker.”
“Y-Yes?”
“I’ll deal with the watermelon you just put in the refrigerator. Go and pick out another one. Kuwajima apparently wants to eat watermelon.”
“U-Understood?”
Without wasting a second, I immediately put my newfound consideration into practice by arranging a replacement for the watermelon that would, in all likelihood, soon become impossible to eat.
Now then.
From this point onward…
It would be a race against time.
We’d already lost an entire day in Fushijishi Village.
If we continued burning through our summer on one event after another, the season itself would be over before we knew it.
“For now… we’re finishing every last event before today is over.”
“It’s already lunchtime!?” Meiko exclaimed.
What on earth was she talking about?
There were still a full twelve hours left before today ended.