Chapter 114: After a Long Time
“It’s been a long time, Brigadier General Willard.”
“It feels strange to hear Colonel Kernel call me Willard.”
“I suppose so. The last time we worked together was before you attained the rank of brigadier general.”
“Yes. Looking back, I’ve come a very long way.”
Back then, I had never imagined becoming a brigadier general, much less traveling to the distant island nation of Wa.
Of course, the moment I saw it on a map, I thought, ‘That’s Japan!’ and decided that I wanted to go there someday.
“Meeting you ultimately changed my life, Brigadier General Willard. One never knows what life may bring.”
“I’m sorry about that. I recommended you without asking your permission. Are you truly all right with this? If it’s too difficult, I can ask General Newsbeck to withdraw the offer.”
“There’s no need. As I said in the interview, there’s no one waiting for me at home. I can go to Wa without any such burden.”
“But…”
“I might even find a wife in Wa! The women of this country seem unable to appreciate my charms. I have no prospect of finding a lover, and my family has made no attempt to arrange a marriage for me.”
“A third son of an earl who serves in the army isn’t very popular. A bride could become a widow soon after marrying, and the death-benefit payment is small.”
“Please don’t say such awful things. Why must I worry that my death benefit is too small even after rising to colonel? Isn’t this country rotten?”
“I would like to agree, but if a brigadier general and a colonel seriously discuss such things, the country is already in its final days.”
“You’ll soon be a major general, Brigadier General Willard.”
“…”
“I’m more concerned about you than about myself.”
“Why?”
“You were the one who wanted to remain in Wa as ambassador. You dislike the battlefield, so you would seize any lawful opportunity to leave it, wouldn’t you?”
“I won’t deny that. But it didn’t happen. That’s the answer.”
“This is only my conjecture, but you’re kind and sometimes think too much. I suspect your worries have multiplied ever since you failed to finish matters on the western front—not only over this issue, but also over your promotion.”
“Colonel Kernel, you’re prying too deeply.”
“As your elder, I must say this. Brigadier General Willard, we stand above others.”
“Yes.”
“We can’t escape so easily. At our feet lie the comrades who died under our orders. They’re surely watching to see whether risking their lives meant something.”
“I know…”
“But that need not be a burden.”
“Telling me not to see it as a burden is unreasonable. Who could avoid feeling burdened by that?”
“That’s true. Even so, hold your head high. The Kingdom of Lunoa will support your future and your actions. We’re on your side.”
“I’m not on this country’s side—”
“I believe that you’ll save the Kingdom of Lunoa. I have believed it ever since I saw you take the battlefield.”
“Do you not think that belief itself is a burden?”
“It is. Those who stand above others must bear such burdens. Yet we may still follow our own wishes—and, at times, abandon everything and run. I intend to flee to Wa.”
“I’m hardly one to say this, but that’s selfish.”
“You’re probably incapable of doing the same.”
“You say that bluntly.”
“But it isn’t impossible. You have a line you won’t cross, and you’re intelligent. You’ll find a way to reconcile yourself with reality. After facing reality and death, I look forward to seeing what you decide you want to become.”
“You aren’t my father.”
“I’m old enough to have children. A young boy seeing his first battlefield naturally seemed like a child to me.”
“Was that how you saw me?”
“No. At first, I simply thought you were a monster.”
“What?”
How could he pull the ladder out from under me so suddenly?
“In any case, Brigadier General Willard, please find your own path. Everyone will respect the choice you make.”