Chapter 79: A Starry Night ①

Late at night, just before the decisive battle.

It was time to switch shifts for the night watch, so I got up and took over from Mineha-san.

The other watch was relieved by Liv-san.

“…Oh, it’s you, Pakira-san.”
“You as well.”

We exchanged smiles and stepped outside, climbing onto a toppled Puppet Box.

Looking up, the sky was filled with countless twinkling stars.

The red moon. The blue moon. The silver moon, shining brilliantly.

There was something about the moon being called the merciless queen of the night, wasn’t there?

And somehow, the sky tonight reminds me of the Cosmic Arm.

“…They’re twinkling more than ever tonight.”
“It’s hard to believe we’re at the deepest part of a dungeon.”

Side by side, we gazed at the stars.

It was a quiet night. There were no more Puppets or monsters in this area.

That was because Rell-san had hunted them all down.

“It’s a strange feeling. Who would’ve thought I’d be enjoying the night sky with you?”
“You’re right. It really is strange.”

This was the first time in this life that I had sat with someone to simply look up at the stars.

And of all people, it was with Pakira-san, in the deepest part of this dungeon.

“Tomorrow, at last.”
“Yes. It feels both long and short.”
“I feel the same way.”
“Do you think we’ll win?”
“There’s no need to worry. Agaro and Megadia are strong. Everyone else too. Losing isn’t even an option.”
“You’re right.”
“But something might be waiting for us. After all, our enemy is The Fool. A jester. A trickster.”

Pakira-san gave a mischievous smile.

Indeed, the enemy had already thrown unexpected things at us, like Monster Boxes.

“Haha… Well, that’s… surprising.”
“What is?”
“Your Oath Relic.”
“Ah, that… It’s complicated.”
“You were singing and dancing so much.”
“So what?”
“It was… really cute.”
“Wh-Wha—?! That was ridiculous! A maiden like me, forced to expose her legs like that…”

Her cat-like ears drooped, and even their tips turned red.

And then, I remembered.

The long slit in Pakira-san’s skirt, revealing her slender, elegant legs.

Almost visible, but not quite. Her skirt swaying wildly with every movement.

“You were beautiful.”
“Nyaaa!? Y-you…!”

Pakira-san looked down, face flushed, her reaction only making her seem cuter.

“A lot has happened, huh?”
“Indeed…”

Feeling nostalgic, I spoke up.

“Pakira-san… Will you listen?”
“Hm? What is it?”
“This time, I’ve felt joy, anger, sadness… frustration. But more than that, I’ve learned something important. Just like you said, I was able to grow.”
“That’s a good thing. Yes, a very good thing.”
“But Pakira-san… I have experienced defeat before.”

It was the first time I had ever told anyone. I had wanted to say it.

About myself.

“…I see.”
“Ever since then, I’ve felt like I was worthless. No… Maybe I’ve always felt that way, somewhere deep inside.”
“And now?”
“I still feel the same. Even if I’ve learned important things, I’m afraid I won’t be able to put them to use. That I’ll stay worthless forever.”

If I weren’t so useless, I would’ve already defeated the clown.

I had decided to treasure my relics.

But I hadn’t even known Generous had a cooldown.

I hadn’t even tried to find out.

Even Vanish—I should be able to use it more effectively.

And more than anything—the worst part is…

I never even try to tell anyone about myself.

Not because I don’t trust others. Not because I’m afraid of what might happen.

No.

I’m just making excuses.

The truth is, I can’t even believe in myself. More than anyone, I’m the one who doubts myself the most.

Why am I so hopeless? Why am I like this?

“I’m still just a failure. Even my knives…”

Oh. I’m about to cry.

“Knives?”
“I keep… losing my knives. Over and over… because I’m weak. Because I can’t fight properly. I can’t wield them right, and so my knives—”

Tears.

One after another, they spill over, unstoppable.

“Even today… I lost another knife… I always, always—why do I keep losing them?”

Why am I so useless? Why can’t I do things properly?

If only I were more capable.

If only I had done better.

Then I wouldn’t have wasted so many knives.

“If I had just been better… I wouldn’t have lost so many… I… I… I—I—I!!!!”
“Whoa. Calm down. What happened to your knives?”

Pakira-san’s voice was gentle as she tried to soothe me.

“I’ve broken so many… ruined them… because I’m useless… because I’m worthless…”
“Your knives… I see.”
“That’s why I can’t do anything. That’s why I’ll never be anything. I’m hopeless… I’m completely… hopeless…”

Ah, ah, ah—I can’t stop anymore. I’ve always, always…

As I wept uncontrollably, Pakira-san gently pulled me into her embrace.

“Pa… Pakira-san…?”

“Listen. Listen carefully. Do you remember? I told you before—I have something to ask you once we return. Do you remember that, Wof?”

Still holding me close, she spoke calmly.

“Y-yes, I remember.”

She’s warm. Soft. And there’s a sweet scent. So warm…

“We haven’t returned yet, but… now seems like the right time.”

“U-um, what did you want to ask?”

“It’s about you.”

“…?”

“That day. The day the earthquake struck the dungeon. It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who saved us from being killed by that chimera variant—with an elixir, Wof. It was you.”

Pakira-san’s words were steady, quiet, and composed.

At some point, she gently pulled away, cupping my face in her hands, gazing at me.

“Yes… it was me.”

“I see. I thought so.”

“I’m sorry… for keeping it a secret.”

“Thank you.”

“…Pakira-san…?”

“Thank you.”

“…”

I had stopped crying. I had calmed down.

Up close, I could see Pakira-san’s face clearly.

“Wof, you are—not just my savior, not just someone who saved my life. You’re someone precious to me. So, even if you think of yourself as hopeless, I will never, not even once, see you that way. Alright? To me, Wof, you are kind-hearted and strong. You never hesitate to reach out to others. Even when I don’t want you to, you throw everything away—yourself included—for someone else’s sake.

That’s the kind of boy you are. That’s the kind of man you are.”

She wasn’t being serious, desperate, angry, or even on the verge of tears. There was no complexity, no hesitation in her words.

“I… I’m not…”

Before I could finish, she gently placed a single finger against my lips.

“Don’t say it. Wof, you are my pride.”

Pakira-san smiled softly, gently, tenderly.

It was the same smile I had seen that day, when she left to hunt the anomaly. The last smile I had seen from her.

Her finger slowly left my lips.

“…Um…”

“What is it, Wof?”

“…The stars are beautiful tonight…”

I thought to myself.

“Yes… they are.”

Ah, just like this.

Let it stay quiet.

Forever.

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