Chapter 6: Having the Demon King Defeated by a 70-Year-Old Hero is Just the Worst, Isn’t It?
“Honestly, once you start leaning toward realism, there are basically infinite ways to die, you know?”
Meiko said that with a thoroughly exhausted expression, like someone who had already spent far too much mental energy entertaining an absurd conversation she never should have gotten involved in.
Still, thanks to the mysterious hallucination that answered every question they threw at it, they had at least managed to piece together a rough understanding of the other world Taketsuru was supposedly destined to enter.
If they were to summarize it all, it would look something like this:
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The genre was standard, orthodox fantasy.
The purpose of the summoning was painfully straightforward: defeat the enemy Demon King.
Taketsuru’s role was that of a hero with no overpowered cheat abilities, though he would apparently still possess decent combat potential.
The world itself leaned slightly serious in tone. Humanity and the demon race were locked in a tense stalemate.
There was also, apparently, a slight harem element.
Defeating enemies would not grant experience points, nor would status values rise automatically like in a game.
However, there was still a proper mechanic where defeating enemies allowed one to absorb their “existential force” and gradually become stronger.
Magic existed too, though according to Meiko, it was apparently “Wizard●y-style.”
That said, there was no resurrection magic.
And even healing magic was inconvenient and unreliable.
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“So if we’re talking simple causes of death, then battlefield death is probably the biggest one, right? In Japan, you don’t really run into situations where you have to fight enemies stronger than yourself. But in another world? Who knows. If you pick the wrong fight over there, you’d probably get slaughtered instantly.”
After laying out all kinds of conditions and possibilities, the very first danger that surfaced was the most straightforward one imaginable.
Death in battle.
Charging recklessly at an opponent stronger than yourself and getting crushed in return.
Or perhaps being ambushed unexpectedly and killed before you could even react.
A sudden, anticlimactic death.
“To avoid that,” Meiko continued, counting off points on her fingers, “the only real answer is the obvious one. Gather companions, spend time improving yourself, and avoid fights you can’t win no matter what.”
If the cause of death was simple, then the countermeasure was simple too.
If you couldn’t win, then don’t fight.
That alone dramatically reduced the chances of dying in combat.
Fight only enemies you could defeat. Grow stronger little by little. Then, once you became stronger, challenge stronger opponents in turn.
Repeat the process over and over.
A basic but reliable survival strategy.
However—
there was one glaring problem with that approach.
“Hold on, Meiko,” I interrupted. “If he spends too much time adventuring over there and comes back late, that means I’ll be stuck without my best friend for years. That would be a serious problem.”
“If it’s the type where you can return to Earth,” Meiko replied casually, “there’s probably some kind of after-service that sends you back to the exact moment you got summoned, so it should be fine.”
“Oh, then never mind. Take your time, Taketsuru. Spend like thirty years carefully grinding if you need to.”
“Coming back to university at fifty sounds absolutely miserable, though.”
I see.
He had a point.
A fifty-year-old college student definitely wouldn’t qualify as “normal.”
At the very least, I’d want him back within four years or so.
“It’ll be fine, Taketsuru-kun,” Meiko added reassuringly. “If it’s a return-to-Earth type setup, there’s probably also a service that resets the elapsed time and restores your original age.”
“Then there’s no issue at all. Feel free to spend fifty years over there, Taketsuru.”
“What kind of Demon King gets defeated by a seventy-year-old hero!? Are we trying to kill him with old age!?”
After all, securing safety required both time and money.
With the primary issue of battlefield death temporarily addressed, the conversation naturally shifted toward other possible causes of death.
“Aside from dying in battle,” Meiko said, “the suspiciously realistic ones are things like illness, accidents, starvation, assassination, conspiracies… and romantic entanglements.”
“And what exactly are the countermeasures for those?” Taketsuru asked with a frown. “It’s not like simply becoming stronger solves everything.”
Contracting an unfamiliar regional disease.
A boulder suddenly collapsing from above.
Running out of food inside a dungeon.
Getting caught in a trap.
Having poison slipped into your meal.
Getting your throat slit while you slept.
And so on.
None of those problems could be solved through combat ability alone.
To properly defend against such dangers required a wide range of skills and precautions.
“Honestly,” Meiko said with a tired sigh, “the only real solution is miserable hard labor. Watch your diet and health constantly. Thoroughly manage your equipment and items—especially food supplies. Always stay alert for poison and danger. Be careful about political relationships and what you say. And don’t leave harem maintenance entirely in someone else’s hands.”
She paused briefly before adding firmly,
“Relying on people is fine, but the truly important things have to be managed personally.”
“Hey… what exactly am I being sent to another world for again?”
At this point, Taketsuru had clearly stopped trying to keep up. He could only stare back at Meiko with a drained, exasperated expression.
But honestly, once you started seriously considering causes of death, that was the inevitable conclusion.
Taking care of your health was obvious enough, but most other dangers ultimately originated from human relationships.
Politics.
Power struggles.
Romantic complications.
Humans simply carried too many attachments and entanglements.
Even here on Earth, choosing murder as a means of resolving conflict wasn’t exactly unheard of.
And no matter how many external dangers you eliminated, the risk of betrayal from allies would always remain.
As I listened to Meiko’s explanation from beside them, a brilliant idea suddenly struck me.
“Hey, Meiko. What if he just cuts off human relationships entirely? Sure, combat would become harder, but if he completely hid his face and identity, lived self-sufficiently, and avoided forming deep connections with anyone no matter what… wouldn’t that solve all the troublesome interpersonal problems at once?”
“Right, Gouto-kun,” Meiko replied flatly. “And this is exactly why I keep telling you not to jump straight to inhuman solutions.”
Apparently, my answer had tripped Meiko’s internal “normal person” alarm.
I reflected deeply upon my mistake.
Recommending extreme solitary survival to a hero summoned to another world was, apparently, not healthy advice.
I learned something today.
“Well,” Meiko continued, “one thing I can recommend is preparing all your own food and drinks personally. You’d need knowledge about poison and ingredients, of course, but it’d make meals much safer. And if anyone asks, you could just say it’s a custom from your homeland.”
“…Uh, Nekoyanagi-san? Modern Japan doesn’t actually have ninja customs like that.”
“Gh—! W-Well, yeah! But still! They existed in the past, so you could totally bluff your way through it, right!? Like claiming it’s for religious reasons or something!?”
“I mean… maybe? But honestly, if I really did get sent to another world, I’d kinda want to try the fantasy food.”
Taketsuru seemed to interpret Meiko’s explanation as little more than a convenient excuse.
Careful there, Meiko.
If you actually lived like that in modern society, you’d start drifting into the “suspiciously real ninja” category.
“So anyway,” I asked, “what about the remaining issue? How do you deal with the harem problem?”
“Mmm… that part really depends on Taketsuru-kun himself.”
They had covered combat ability, interpersonal relationships, and food safety…
But honestly, relationships with women were another matter entirely.
A healthy young man probably couldn’t speak too confidently there.
As for me, I was just an utterly ordinary male university student, which apparently meant society expected me to act in ways that made people wonder, “Does this guy even have a dick?”
“So I already said I’m not interested in harems,” Taketsuru groaned. “Also, sorry, but I’ve gotta head out soon. I have work.”
“Mm, I see.”
Apparently, Taketsuru had a part-time job afterward.
From the perspective of the hallucination, this might have been a life-changing crisis for my best friend—
but since there was still a chance the hallucination was completely wrong, forcing him into bizarre behavior would probably be a bad idea.
“Understood, Taketsuru. Go to work today and cherish the beauty of ordinary daily life.”
“I keep telling you I’m not about to dive into the supernatural! Anyway, see you tomorrow!”
And as I watched Taketsuru’s departing back disappear into the distance, I slowly nodded.
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“Taketsuru Yuu”
69 hours, 02 minutes, 25 seconds remaining until summoning to another world.
※ At this rate, he will die due to complications involving women.
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See?
It really was the women problem after all.
If you already knew that, then the hallucination should’ve just said so from the start.
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※ Earlier, the cause of death was starvation on the side of the road.
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Hm.
I see.
Then that meant we had technically made progress.
“Well then… guess I’ll see him tomorrow.”
For now, at least, the remaining problem had become clear.
Satisfied with that, I prepared to head home and continue this tomorrow—
but just as I turned away, Meiko suddenly grabbed my hand.
“Uhh, excuse me? I’d really like a more detailed explanation here, Gouto-kun?”
“…Hm? About what?”
“About all the obviously suspicious stuff you’ve been saying. That appraisal skill thing you mentioned this morning—was that actually real?”
No, it’s a hallucination, though.