Chapter 35: You sure love public executions, don’t you, Kirishiro-kun?
(“Apparently that guy’s a ninja… pfft.”)
(“Ehh? That’s kinda unexpected. But now that I look closer, he’s actually pretty toned.”)
(“He’s got that puppy-dog face too. Honestly kinda my type~”)
(“Wouldn’t a ninja usually be… y’know, stealthier?”)
(“If you go too plain, it probably gets harder to blend in the other way around or something. I dunno.”)
“…………K-Kirishiro Goutoooo……!”
Having barged directly into our four-person table, Kaito Inugashi glared at me with tearful eyes as the surrounding whispers continued to stab into him from every direction.
He was visibly distressed.
Hm.
“Inugashi. The 300-yen curry is quite popular in this cafeteria. They don’t even ask to see your student ID, so I doubt you’d get caught.”
“I’m not struggling to choose from the menu!”
“I won’t lend you money.”
“I’m not worried about my wallet either!”
The moment Inugashi raised his voice, another wave of hushed chatter spread around us.
And immediately afterward, his shoulders drooped again as though the weight of the room had crushed him flat.
What happened to the aggressive momentum he’d had yesterday?
Now he looked like the only man in the world currently witnessing the apocalypse.
Seeing such a pitiful sight, I kindly offered him guidance.
“Calm down. Think about it rationally. There’s no way ninjas actually exist in this day and age. A ninja is basically just an ordinary person now. The only difference is how dark or light the gradient happens to be. There’s no reason to worry about it.”
“Y-You’re the one who—!”
“That’s exactly why nobody would panic over being called a ninja. Normally speaking, anyway. Just act confident. You’re an ordinary civilian.”
“Ugh…”
Groaning weakly, Inugashi attempted to follow my advice and puffed out his chest with forced confidence.
However, because everyone around him had apparently already settled on referring to him exclusively as “The Ninja,” his complexion remained noticeably pale.
Honestly, between him and Meiko Nekoyanagi, I felt like I should start teaching people proper crisis-management techniques for when their identities were exposed.
“Kirishiro-kun, you really do enjoy public executions, don’t you?”
“What exactly do you mean by that, Kuwajima?”
“I feel like… I understand how Inugashi-san feels. Just a tiny little bit.”
Even if she said that, I had absolutely no memory of ever sending Kuwajima to the guillotine in front of the public.
The only thing I’d done was wholeheartedly affirm her chuunibyou delusions, but that had been a mutually beneficial arrangement, so surely that wasn’t my fault.
(“Taketsuru-kun, the Black Princess, Kirishiro-kun, and now a ninja? That table’s character density is way too high.”)
(“I actually feel bad for Taketsuru-kun. Surrounded by three weirdos…”)
(“The Black Princess… if only she wasn’t mentally unstable.”)
(“Kirishiro’s the weirdest one somehow. Like… why is he even like that?”)
“See? Even I’m getting lumped in as a weirdo now. Even though I’m clearly the most normal person here.”
“What part of you exactly qualifies as normal, O Chuunibyou Kuwajima?”
“I already graduated from my chuunibyou phase!?”
“Then throw away the bandages.”
“……………………”
To begin with, the human relationship between me, Meiko, and Taketsuru Yuu had already been perfectly complete before Kuwajima inserted herself into it midway through.
In fact, ever since then, she had consistently been viewed as the strangest member of the group.
Though admittedly, her outfit today was still excessively feminine as usual.
“Hey, Kirishiro. Mind if I just head home? Without Nekoyanagi-san here, my reputation’s taking splash damage. I’m getting dragged into the freak category by association.”
Taketsuru attempted to declare his withdrawal from the situation.
Naturally, I had no intention of allowing that.
For someone who constantly called himself my “best friend,” wasn’t he a little too cold-hearted?
Besides.
Objectively speaking, he was the biggest anomaly here by far.
The man had literally returned from another world.
As far as humanity was concerned, that practically made him a one-of-a-kind aberration.
“Ah! Right, Meiko!”
Suddenly, Inugashi—who until now had merely been miserably sipping water—raised his voice again.
Because he kept making abrupt movements without warning, everyone nearby immediately looked over once more.
And just as quickly, he shrank back in panic under the attention.
What exactly was this guy trying to accomplish?
Well, whatever.
Hearing him out was the entire reason we’d gathered here in the first place.
“Well then, Inugashi. Yesterday, you said you wanted to ‘talk things out,’ so I agreed to make time for you today. But before anything else—what exactly is it that you want?”
“W-What do you mean, what do I want?”
“I’m asking about your final objective. What exactly was your purpose in coming all the way to this university?”
Yesterday had been a sudden surprise attack.
Today, he had burst into our lunch break without warning.
Either way, Inugashi clearly had some reason for repeatedly showing up here.
I could safely assume it revolved around Meiko somehow—but I still didn’t fully understand what he ultimately hoped to achieve.
Granted, Meiko herself apparently wanted to kill him.
But obviously I couldn’t permit that.
Because utterly ordinary university students found anywhere generally refrained from killing even their enemies until at least the final arc of the story.
In response to my question, Inugashi slammed both hands onto the table and rose dramatically to his feet.
“It’s simple! I’m going to take Meiko back from you—the one who stole her away from me! And then—!”
“And then?”
“…The one who marries Meiko will be me, her childhood friend! Not you!”
The moment he declared that, the cafeteria erupted into noise.
The atmosphere sharpened instantly.
Until now, everyone had merely been entertained by the sudden appearance of a “ninja,” but now the topic had shifted elsewhere entirely.
Marriage.
Specifically, marriage involving Meiko.
Before even our group could react, the surrounding students had already started getting excited on their own.
(“Wait, what? The ninja came here because of Nekoyanagi-san?”)
(“A surprise love triangle!?”)
(“What kind of history do the ninja and Kirishiro even have?”)
Honestly.
What an entertainment-loving ninja.
To think he’d willingly attract this much public attention himself.
I glanced sideways.
Taketsuru and Kuwajima were both clearly enjoying themselves, watching with the expressions of people eagerly waiting to see what I would say next.
Well, fine.
If things became dangerous, they’d probably offer supporting fire eventually.
Besides.
This was a conversation I could handle alone.
“Inugashi. Let me explain things from the beginning.”
“W-What?”
“First of all: the claim that I ‘stole’ Meiko from you is objectively false.”
“Wh—!?”
There were too many ears around us.
Discussing the full truth behind Meiko’s family circumstances here would be difficult.
Though honestly, Inugashi probably didn’t want his own family affairs discussed publicly either, so as long as I chose my words carefully, things should be fine.
“The problems surrounding Meiko’s household were Meiko’s own problems. Both you and I presented possible solutions to her. And after considering them, Meiko chose my solution. That’s all there is to it. Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t steal her away. You simply weren’t chosen.”
“GUUUUAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
The damage was catastrophic enough that Inugashi nearly collapsed over the table.
Still, somehow, he managed to remain upright by bracing himself on his elbows.
His legs were shaking violently.
But he was still standing.
I glanced toward Taketsuru and Kuwajima.
No towels had been thrown into the ring yet.
Apparently the match could continue.
“Second. You keep saying you want to ‘take Meiko back,’ but as I already explained, Meiko remains by my side entirely of her own free will. She possesses the right to reject my wishes whenever she chooses. Therefore, the proper phrasing here isn’t ‘take her back.’ If you want her to return to you, then what you should do is sincerely ask Meiko herself.”
“Ggh… that’s why I’ll defeat you first—”
“And realistically speaking, if you truly want Meiko to come back, maybe you should first consider Meiko’s actual feelings. Frankly speaking, you’re being a nuisance.”
“GUWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!?”
This time, even his elbows gave out.
Inugashi collapsed face-first onto the table with a miserable thud.
And yet…
His eyes remained open.
The spirit of resistance still burned within him.
I could feel it.
I looked toward Taketsuru again.
His expression clearly said:
He can still fight.
I see.
How troublesome.
“Lastly. You apparently want to marry Meiko… but Meiko herself said she wants to kill you.”
“Igyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………”
A tragic story indeed.
Once before, I explained that human relationships were built upon the arrows people directed toward one another.
However…
Even when two people point arrows at each other, there is no guarantee those arrows share the same color.
One arrow of affection.
One arrow of murderous intent.
Perhaps that kind of mismatch was even sadder than no arrows existing at all.
After hearing my words, Inugashi’s eyes rolled so far back they were practically turning white.
The sheer amount of damage he took from that statement suggested that deep down, he had already known the truth himself.
Because if someone genuinely believed they were right, then no amount of criticism from others could shake them.
Just as nothing could shake my conviction that I was an utterly ordinary university student found anywhere.
Inugashi, on the other hand, lacked that certainty.
That was why the reality I forced upon him struck so hard.
Rejected by Meiko.
Lectured by the police.
Confronted by me with brutal honesty.
At this point, Inugashi’s remaining life bar was hanging by a thread.
And yet—
“Y-You may be right. Maybe… maybe I haven’t treated Meiko properly all this time. Maybe I’ve made mistakes. Maybe… maybe she doesn’t even like me very much. But…”
Though moments ago his eyes had nearly rolled back entirely, Inugashi slowly stood once more like a dying flame refusing to extinguish itself.
And within those eyes burned the very same thing I myself had spoken of earlier.
The unwavering light of someone who believed in their own righteousness.
In this situation… what exactly could he still believe in?
Silently, I waited for his answer.
“Meiko’s childhood friend is ME! You’re not Meiko’s childhood friend at all!! At least that part has to be true!!!”
“No, I am Meiko’s ‘childhood friend,’ though? What exactly are you talking about?”
“WHY WON’T YOU BREAK ALREADY!?”
Inugashi stared at me in complete shock.
Break?
There was nothing to break.
The fact that I was Meiko’s “childhood friend” was something I myself had decided.
And because I trusted myself, naturally I also trusted the things I decided.
Therefore, the truth that Meiko was my “childhood friend” remained unshakable.
Right, my “best friends”?
“Ehhh, I vote for Inugashi-kun.”
“I also vote for Inugashi-san.”
“Why?”
At the critical moment, my two “best friends” betrayed me and sided with Inugashi instead.
To think even they would doubt the legitimacy of my childhood-friend relationship with Meiko…
“No, look, I totally understand your logic. I really do. But from a normal-person perspective, Inugashi-kun’s argument makes way more sense.”
“If we deny him that much too, I think Inugashi-san may literally turn into ashes…”
Thanks to that sudden supporting fire, light returned to Inugashi’s eyes.
Honestly.
These friends of mine.
“I understand your feelings very well. In that case, I’ll proceed as planned and ask the two of you to serve as moderators.”
“Huh?”
“Pardon?”
Inugashi’s unexpected arrival had disrupted the original schedule, but if the two of them intended to remain neutral, then this arrangement was actually perfect.
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『Operation in Progress』
Completion Rate: 82%
Meiko Nekoyanagi’s Cold Sweat: Starting to Dry Up
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Which of us—me or Inugashi—was truly worthy of being Meiko’s “childhood friend”?
Thankfully, it seemed the preparations for that “event” would not go to waste after all.
Inugashi.
Taketsuru.
Kuwajima.
All three of them had done an excellent job building up the “opening act.”
To think they understood “the utterly ordinary university life found anywhere” this well.
Honestly.
It made me happy too.