Chapter 34: I Am a Man Who Takes Responsibility for His Own Words
──50 Minutes Later.
“────If you understand now, then next time you need to sit down and talk things through properly, alright? I get it, you’re young, emotions run high. But acting impulsively like this only makes everyone miserable in the end. You’re adults now. From here on out, you need to start behaving like responsible adults, okay?”
『Uh, y-yes, I’m sorry, really, yes, yes…』
And so, Kaito Inugashi received the full force of an extremely serious lecture from two police officers.
Honestly, it was my first time ever witnessing two officers team up for a synchronized scolding session.
It was impressive.
Educational, even.
Someday, when the time came to lecture Kuwajima about something, I intended to make use of the techniques I learned here today.
“Well then, we’ll leave the lecture at that for now. But listen carefully, okay? Make sure the two of you actually talk things out. And if this situation escalates any further, understand that we’ll be siding with the victim here. If you don’t seriously reflect on your actions today, next time we’ll be hauling you in. Understood?”
『I understand. Yes. I’m truly sorry…』
And thus, after a long and grueling sermon, the victor was decided.
Stalker versus Police.
The winner was the police.
Naturally.
Even ninjas could not triumph over the authority of the state…
“Well then, um… Kirishiro-kun, was it? If anything else happens, feel free to consult us anytime. And you too—please be very careful not to let things turn violent.”
“Yes. Thank you very much.”
Once the lecture finally concluded, the conversational baton was returned from the two officers back to me.
Though, now that it had been returned, there was a slight problem.
My friends had specifically told me not to do anything.
Which, technically speaking… I hadn’t.
Yes.
Today, I had done absolutely nothing.
By sheer coincidence, Kaito Inugashi—whom I had coincidentally called from a blocked number—had coincidentally made several problematic statements, which had coincidentally been overheard by nearby police officers, who had then coincidentally lectured him for nearly an hour.
Truly, refreshingly innocent behavior on my part.
Yosh.
『K-Kirishiro Gouto…-san…』
“Yes?”
Even through the phone, Inugashi’s voice sounded visibly drained.
Well, of course it did.
Getting genuinely scolded by two police officers at the age of eighteen—or however old he actually was—had to leave psychic damage.
At this point, I assumed the conversation was over.
However, it seemed Inugashi still had something he wished to say.
So I quietly waited.
After taking two deep breaths on the other end of the line, he finally regained enough courage to speak.
『Kuh… d-don’t think you’ve won yet! I’ll prove it someday! I’ll prove that I’m the true childhood friend!』
“Hm? Inugashi-kun? Was the lecture still not enough? Would you like to turn yourself in?”
『Ahem—therefore, I would like to formally request an opportunity for discussion. If possible, may I ask for some of your time at the university sometime after tomorrow?』
One of the officers smoothly interjected beside him, and suddenly Inugashi’s speech transformed into something astonishingly polite.
I had been instructed not to do anything, but… well.
This much was probably acceptable.
“If you possess the necessary resolve, then come. I’ll face you directly. But let me warn you—I’m a man who follows through when he says he will. Don’t forget my words.”
『!! Well said! Then until next time!!』
And with that, Inugashi abruptly hung up the call himself.
So.
It seemed he possessed resolve after all.
In that case, fine.
As I had already stated, I was a man who did what he said he would do.
My best friends had warned me not to act, certainly—but contracts existed to be fulfilled.
Afterward, I bowed my head apologetically toward the two police officers, both of whom had lost a considerable amount of time due to the hallucination-induced situation spiraling wildly out of control.
“In any case, I apologize for causing you both trouble.”
“No, no. Listening to the concerns of ordinary citizens is part of our duty.”
“And if anything happens in the future, don’t hesitate to contact us, alright?”
The two officers smiled kindly, and I returned the gesture with a polite smile of my own.
Though honestly speaking, as an utterly ordinary university student who could be found absolutely anywhere, I would have preferred not to develop such an oddly familiar relationship with the police.
Unfortunately, it couldn’t be helped.
Because before being an ordinary university student, I was first and foremost an ordinary citizen who did not oppose public authority.
And thus, after the police somehow ended up lightly recording my personal information for reasons beyond my comprehension, I once again resumed my original objective:
Buying milk.
“And that’s what happened.”
“I literally told you not to do anything, didn’t I, Kirishiro?”
The following day.
As usual, I met up with Taketsuru Yuu at the university, and after casually recounting yesterday’s events, the expression I received in return was one of complete exasperation.
“It’s not as though I initiated anything, so I feel your criticism is somewhat misplaced.”
“I mean, technically true, but still. If something happens, at least report it immediately.”
“? But as an utterly ordinary university student one could find anywhere, isn’t it standard procedure to wait until the following day to casually explain emergencies in a relaxed manner?”
“I don’t know what ancient textbook light novels you’ve been reading, but modern society has these things called smartphones.”
I was aware of that.
Incidentally, in the world of light novels from roughly two generations ago, smartphones generally did not exist yet, and flip phones were only just beginning to spread—or sometimes not even that.
And no, I wasn’t talking about fantasy settings.
I meant modern romantic comedies.
In worlds like those, merely arriving at a meeting place on time was enough to generate dramatic tension.
How advanced modern civilization truly was, that people could simply send a single message saying:
“Overslept. Running late.”
Of course, in exchange, modern society had invented entirely new tragedies.
Phones ran out of battery.
They got dropped somewhere.
Or they drowned heroically in water.
Anyway, returning to Taketsuru’s complaints, even if he told me to explain myself, there wasn’t really much to explain.
“But I genuinely didn’t do anything. There’s nothing worth explaining.”
“No, no, listen. Starting tomorrow—or actually, starting today—that Inugashi guy is coming to the university again, right? At the very least you should contact Meiko Nekoyanagi.”
“I already contacted Meiko, naturally. I’m a man who follows through when he says he will.”
“Hold on. Did those sentences actually connect logically just now?”
Taketsuru tilted his head suspiciously.
Hm.
So the information still hadn’t circulated as far as him yet.
Well, whatever.
I didn’t know exactly when Inugashi planned to make his move, but by the time he acted, the preparations would already be complete.
Yes.
I was a man who did what he said he would do.
After all, utterly ordinary university students found anywhere tended, for some inexplicable reason, to confront people head-on even when common sense clearly suggested:
“You should just ignore someone like that.”
“Putting that aside, there’s actually something I’d like to ask you and Kuwajima to do.”
“What?”
“I’ll explain once Kuwajima gets here. I called her out for lunch, so we’ll discuss it in the cafeteria.”
At present, there wasn’t much left for me to do personally.
Now was Meiko’s turn to act.
Though for the record, when I explained the plan to her, she responded in an utterly serious tone:
“Why are you asking me to handle this? Seriously? Like, actually seriously?”
I felt that deserved mentioning.
──────
『Operation in Progress』
Penetration Rate: 35%
Meiko Nekoyanagi’s Cold Sweat: Pouring Buckets
──────
By the way…
When exactly was this weird hallucination floating in front of me going to disappear?
It looked exactly like an operating system installation progress bar.
If it stopped at 99%, I was genuinely going to lose my mind.
Time passed, and soon it was lunch break.
As usual, the three of us gathered in the university cafeteria, peacefully eating our usual 300-yen curry together.
…No, wait.
Kuwajima had added a soft-boiled egg topping today.
That was no longer 300-yen curry.
That was 400-yen curry.
Hold on.
Taketsuru had karaage too…?
That meant his curry totaled 550 yen.
Unbelievable.
I could feel the crushing weight of economic disparity.
Perhaps it was finally time for me to get a part-time job.
Though homemade lunches were another possibility, keeping costs consistently below 300 yen while maintaining nutrition still required careful calculation.
Cheapness.
Nutrition.
And the joy of eating.
The pursuit of balancing all three was truly a difficult path.
“So then, what exactly was this favor you wanted to ask?”
The woman with the soft-boiled egg curry asked.
Meanwhile, the man with the karaage curry silently urged me onward with his eyes.
I smoothly began speaking.
“I would like the two of you to act as moderators for the event that will likely occur soon.”
“Hold it right there, Kirishiro. I have an extremely bad feeling that something completely abnormal is about to happen.”
“Kirishiro-kun. Human beings can only walk one step at a time, you know? Could you maybe explain things one step at a time too?”
“Understood.”
Very well.
Just as I opened my mouth to begin explaining everything from the start, a sudden wave of murmuring spread throughout the cafeteria.
The atmosphere shifted instantly.
Curious, we turned toward the source of the disturbance—and there he was.
“F-Finally found you, Kirishiro Gouto! …-san!”
Standing there was none other than Kaito Inugashi, who had somehow already come all the way to the university less than a day later.
That was considerably faster than expected.
Did this guy not attend school or anything?
Well, whatever.
Trying desperately to avoid the stares of everyone around him, Inugashi marched straight toward our table.
Then he slammed both hands down onto it dramatically and shouted at me.
“W-What exactly did you do!? Why is everyone whispering while staring at me!? E-Explain yourself!!”
At the exact same moment he shouted that, Taketsuru’s smartphone vibrated on the table.
He glanced at the screen.
Then immediately burst out laughing.
A second later, Kuwajima’s phone vibrated as well, and after seeing the contents, she too completely lost it while staring at Inugashi.
“W-What is it!? What did you actually do…!?”
“No, I mean… here.”
Without waiting for me to explain, Taketsuru quietly showed Inugashi the information that had apparently already spread through someone-or-other’s social network.
Displayed on the screen was the following message and image:
『A ninja living in the modern age. If this face looks familiar, make sure to greet him.
【Attached: A suspiciously well-edited photo with black censor bars over the eyes (Provided by Meiko)】』
“N-no, wait, y-you…!? Y-you exposed…!?”
After seeing Taketsuru’s phone, Inugashi’s mouth opened and closed soundlessly in utter panic.
I looked at him with eyes full of sorrowful pity as I answered.
“I warned you from the beginning. ‘If you don’t stop this nonsense already, I’ll expose the fact that you’re a ninja.’ But you refused to back down………… I am a man who takes responsibility for his words. It pains me that things had to end this way.”
“That doesn’t count anymore once you AGREED TO THE NEGOTIATIONS, YOU ABSOLUTE PSYCHOPATHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!?!?!?!”
What was he talking about?
Agreeing to negotiations and exposing him as a ninja were two entirely separate matters.
Generally speaking, prior agreements took precedence over later ones.
By refusing to withdraw peacefully, he had effectively consented to being exposed as a ninja.
Besides, being a ninja still fell within the acceptable gradient of ordinary humanity anyway.
It wasn’t that big a deal.
Even Meiko had cooperated with spreading the information.
──────
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There are few things sadder in life than people failing to understand one another.