Chapter 23: I Am the Avatar of the Immortal Darkness!
“Seriously… sorry about this.”
“If you’re gonna apologize, then don’t summon me in the first place, damn it!! Huh!?”
After unleashing his frustration in full, yelling until he finally seemed satisfied, Taketsuru hurriedly pulled out his phone and contacted his girlfriend, Sumire-san.
And once he explained the situation—
“I don’t really understand it myself, but apparently I got summoned because someone was desperately asking us for help…”
—Sumire-san responded with an utterly reasonable line of persuasion:
“If your best friend is asking for help, then you have to help him.”
Faced with such painfully normal logic, Taketsuru reluctantly gave up resisting reality and agreed to deal with our situation.
“So? What the hell’s going on here?”
“Thus-and-such and so-and-so.”
“You do realize that actually saying ‘thus-and-such and so-and-so’ out loud doesn’t magically explain anything, right?”
What?
According to the sacred teachings of textbook light novels, best friends were supposed to understand each other perfectly through exchanges like that.
Apparently, our friendship level still wasn’t high enough yet…
So, having no other choice, I explained everything that had happened from start to finish while physically pointing at the currently split-apart Kujima as visual evidence.
During the explanation, Taketsuru briefly glanced toward the Holy Sword—
—and immediately pretended he hadn’t seen it.
“By the way, Taketsuru. Why didn’t you know the Holy Sword had a curse-reflection function?”
After finishing the story, the question suddenly came back to me.
The reason things had turned into this absurd mess in the first place was because the Holy Sword possessed a passive effect that reflected curses.
If Taketsuru had remembered that from the start, there would’ve been no need for us to spend the entire day carrying Kujima around like some festival shrine float. The whole situation probably would’ve been resolved immediately.
When I pointed that out, Taketsuru folded his arms and thought for a moment before answering.
“Now that you mention it… I kinda feel like maybe it did have a function like that. Possibly. But it’s not like I’ve ever had someone throw curses at me head-on before… forgetting about it isn’t exactly unreasonable, is it?”
“Meiko. Bring me a paper fan.”
“Hey, calm down for a second. I spent five years adventuring, you know? There’s no way I’d remember every tiny detail and setting element.”
…He had a point.
His five-year adventure may have been a painfully entertainment-deficient journey completely devoid of romance, but it had still been his story.
There had surely been things he remembered dearly, and things that faded over time.
Even in textbook supernatural battle novels, abilities introduced early on often mysteriously disappear from the protagonist’s brain halfway through the story.
Sometimes authors even forget their own settings and create contradictions—
—but let’s not pursue that topic further. It felt like it might stab someone nearby.
“Well, whatever. The real issue is whether you can erase that manifested curse or not.”
“Hm.”
Taketsuru glanced toward the dejected Kujima, then over at Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama, who was currently trapped in an armbar courtesy of Meiko.
“Uh… so you’re the curse, right?”
“GIVE! GIVE! I TAP! I’M TAPPING! I’M GONNA DIE! I’M DYIIIIIIING!!”
Despite Taketsuru’s question, Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama clearly had far more pressing concerns.
Letting out a tired sigh, Taketsuru finally spoke.
“Well, if you’re asking whether I can do it by cutting her down with the Holy Sword, then probably. If the curse has already separated itself, brute force should work. But, uh… I’ll be honest, I really don’t like the idea of slashing someone who obviously looks like a beautiful girl.”
“? That’s not a beautiful girl. It’s a hallucination. Don’t let appearances deceive you.”
“What happened to your ‘perfectly ordinary college student’ setting? Your lack of hesitation is terrifying…”
As a perfectly ordinary college student, situations like this naturally fell outside expected operating parameters.
In other words, this was an acceptable scenario for improvisation.
And if that was the case, then immediate problem resolution took priority.
“More importantly, Kujima-san… are you really okay with this?”
“Eh… what do you mean?”
“It may have started as a curse, but she’s basically been your other half this whole time. Even if she was forced out, I think she’s still connected to you somehow. So…”
Taketsuru paused briefly before continuing.
“If we completely erase her, then all those ‘chuunibyou’ aspects you carry inside yourself will probably disappear too. Your admiration, the things you loved, those feelings you cherished… are you really okay with losing all of it?”
“That…!”
So it affected her that deeply?
If it would actually alter Kujima’s personality, then simply deleting it without thought suddenly felt questionable.
As a perfectly ordinary college student who had reached out to help her, I didn’t particularly want this to end in a way that left Kujima unable to smile.
“Kujima. If that would really bother you, then maybe we don’t need to destroy it after all.”
“K-Kirijo-kun, but—”
“It just means that from now on, Goth-Loli Kujima Number Two will probably follow you around for the rest of your life.”
“Please erase her.”
Kujima made her decision immediately.
――――――――――
Respecting Kujima’s wishes, we prepared to say farewell to Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama.
After enduring an endless barrage of professional wrestling techniques, she now looked like a fish washed helplessly onto dry land, completely devoid of energy.
Though honestly, it wasn’t as if she’d had anywhere to run from the very beginning.
“Alright then. Here I go.”
Taketsuru stepped forward and reached for the Holy Sword embedded in the stone floor.
The instant his fingers wrapped around the hilt, the sword slid free effortlessly—as though the countless heroes who had struggled to draw it before had all been a lie.
The blade settled naturally into his hand.
“To be honest, I don’t know any fancy purification finishing moves or anything, so I’m just gonna use a technique that slices the spirit apart directly.”
“Wait! WAIT! Hold, another self of mine! Are you truly certain!? I am thy other half! You shall regret losing me!”
“This is insanely hard to do emotionally.”
On all fours, desperately begging for her life—
Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama trembled pitifully while Kujima stood nearby, unable to even look directly at her.
Taketsuru himself wore a bitter expression, but despite that, he still fulfilled his duty.
With a smooth motion, he raised the Holy Sword.
“‘Mind Severance.’”
The pale blue blade shone brilliantly as it swung downward.
And just before the sword reached Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama—
“WAIT, DON’T!!!”
Kujima screamed.
Meiko, Taketsuru, and I all froze in shock at her cry—
—but there was no way a blade already in motion could stop in time.
“GYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
With a sickeningly light slash, the sword carved across Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama’s back.
An unbearable silence followed.
Only her endless scream echoed through the strange empty space.
Taketsuru, who had already completed the swing, began panicking immediately as he stumbled over his own words trying to explain himself.
“N-no, uh, wait, crap. Hold on. I just straight-up cut her. Like, actually cut her. You can’t suddenly say ‘never mind’ after I swing! Uh—sorry!?”
“A-Ah, um, c-can’t you do something!?”
“Even if you say ‘do something’—!! I specialize in offense! This is impossible!!”
Well… that was fair.
The Holy Sword was fundamentally a weapon. Expecting it to heal, purify, and perform support magic too was honestly asking a bit much.
Meanwhile, black aura-like miasma overflowed from Goethe-sama’s wound, radiating pure curse energy. At this point, it looked utterly beyond repair.
Driven into desperation after realizing at the very last second that she didn’t actually want to abandon her chuunibyou side, Kujima suddenly turned toward me.
“K-Kirijo-kun! Please—somehow save her!”
“Even if you say somehow…”
“With those Eyes of Destiny of yours—do something!”
No, seriously, you’re putting way too much faith in my hallucinations.
Still, while thinking that, I looked over at the surprisingly stubborn Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama, who continued screaming despite being on the verge of death.
──────────
『Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama』
Status: HP Gauge Red
※Capture chance greatly increased! Now’s your opportunity!
※Throw an appropriate item and chant “Evil Seal” to complete the process!
※No special talent required! This is your chance!
──────────
“Meiko. Do you have anything that could capture ghost-type monsters or something? Like a vacuum cleaner, rice cooker, capsule… anything?”
“Eh!? Don’t suddenly ask me stuff like that!”
Even while complaining, Meiko began pulling item after item from her pockets.
Normal girlish cosmetics appearing was one thing, but the fact that hidden weapons and suspicious chemicals kept appearing too—
Meiko, are you actually okay?
In modern society, wasn’t that walking dangerously close to violating several laws?
Ignoring my concerns completely, Meiko finally found something.
“Well, I do have bandages!”
“You genius!”
Bandages could count as ropes.
And ropes counted as capturing tools.
Barely.
Sure, using bandages to capture a spirit felt questionable on multiple levels, but it was still better than nothing.
I immediately grabbed the rolled-up bundle and tossed it toward Kujima.
“Kujima! Throw this at Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama and shout ‘Evil Seal’! Something should happen!”
“I trust you!!”
Catching the bandages, Kujima immediately shifted into an astonishingly refined throwing stance completely unbefitting a normal girl.
The instant the bandages shot forward like a laser beam and struck Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama directly, Kujima cried out:
“O melody of stars! O rhythm of the moon! By the name of the spirits, grant unto me the power to subjugate wicked demons—‘EVIL SEAL’!!”
…What was that entire first half, Kujima?
The moment her chant ended, the thrown bandages suddenly floated upward on their own.
They unraveled in midair, wrapping tightly around Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama’s body with frightening speed.
The scene became oddly suggestive as the wrappings constricted around her, slowly turning black one layer at a time.
And when every last bandage had fully darkened—
Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz-sama vanished.
The blackened bandages then flew back and wrapped themselves around Kujima’s right arm, frozen in the same throwing pose she’d used moments earlier.
“…………”
“…………”
Nobody spoke.
None of us fully understood what had just happened.
As we continued staring silently at Kujima, she was finally the first to break the silence.
“Fuh-ku-ku… that was dangerously close indeed. Yet allow me to proclaim it boldly! My name is ‘Sansen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin Goetheschwarz’! Knower of the world’s truths! The eternal incarnation of darkness who gazes down upon all creation!”
“No, you’re Kujima Taeko. What are you talking about?”
“FUGYUUUGIIIIIIIIIIIII!!”
The instant I interrupted her, Kujima desperately began unwrapping the bandages around her arm.
Once the black cloth finally came loose and her pale skin reappeared beneath it, she let out a huge sigh of relief.
“These bandages seem to be cursed…”
Kujima stared suspiciously at the wrappings.
I looked too—
—and naturally, another hallucination popped into view.
──────────
『Black Binding Chains of Restraint』
Named by: Kujima Taeko (Top Candidate Within Her Mind)
Effect: Inflicts the ‘Curse of Chuunibyou’ upon equip.
Feelings: Fufuku… to reduce me to such a form. Delightfully amusing.
※Exclusive equipment for Kujima Taeko
※Color may bleed during washing. Hand-wash separately recommended.
──────────
“Apparently wearing it curses you. Also, the dye runs, so wash it separately by hand.”
“So even cursed equipment requires laundry… fufu… ahaha…”
Hearing the absurd information from my hallucination, Kujima finally burst into quiet laughter.
It wasn’t forced.
It wasn’t theatrical.
It was a small, honest, natural laugh.
And hearing that gentle laughter, everyone else present began smiling too.
It had only been a single day—
yet somehow, it felt like we’d experienced something absurdly ridiculous and unforgettable together.
“Well then. Guess we should head home.”
“Yeah.”
“Sounds good.”
“Right.”
At my words, everyone nodded with faint smiles still lingering on their faces.
Kujima had successfully dealt with the curse placed upon her.
Nobody had truly ended up unhappy.
And somehow, everyone could continue walking toward their own futures.
Sure, there had been a fair amount of suffering mixed in there somewhere, but overall—
calling it a happy ending felt completely fair.
“Meiko. Didn’t all this kinda feel like what ordinary college student life should be?”
“Well… relatively speaking, maybe. Looking back, it was pretty fun.”
“You two seriously… ahh, whatever. I’m getting home fast and eating Sumire-neesan’s cooking.”
“Ah, wait for me! Don’t leave me alone here! This place is terrifying!”
And so, in a noisy little group, we finally left the mysterious space behind.
No matter how extraordinary a day might become, tomorrow still held ordinary daily life waiting for us college students.
That was simply how life worked for perfectly average university students like us.
Right before leaving, I glanced back one last time.
──────────
『Holy Sword Neuralmancer』
Movement Ability: None
Feelings: Yuu!? Where are you going!? You forgot me! YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME!!!
──────────
The Holy Sword had been carefully returned to the stone floor by Taketsuru, perfectly embedded at an exact ninety-degree angle.
For a moment, it almost sounded like it was saying something.
But, well—
it was an inanimate object.
So it was probably just my imagination.