Chapter 4: Radio Calisthenics and Bacon and Eggs
My mornings, as Eito Tsurugi—or rather, Eight Tsurugi—began early.
Without fail, I usually woke up a little after six.
After washing my face, I would head out into the yard to prepare for radio calisthenics.
It was originally a habit forced onto me by my late grandfather, but after years of following along, my body had become so accustomed to the routine that skipping it now left me feeling strangely restless.
“Ohh, seems I’m the first one here today.”
“Good morning, Village Chief.”
And naturally, the elderly residents of Papel Village gradually gathered for these morning exercises as well.
Perhaps it was because they were old, or perhaps because this world simply treated sleeping early and waking early as the norm, but the old folks here almost never overslept.
If one of them failed to show up on time, it usually meant something serious had happened.
…Though every now and then it turned out they’d simply slept in.
But that was just part of the charm.
“Ata-ra-shii asa ga kita~ kibou no asa da~”
For reasons I still completely failed to understand, radio signals functioned perfectly fine within the grounds of my house.
In fact, my smartphone and television still worked too.
After finishing the morning exercises, everyone would sit together on the engawa veranda while I served tea, and we’d casually chat about village matters.
At this point, it had become one of my daily routines.
“Apparently my son spotted a monster while hunting in the nearby forest recently. Said it was a goblin. Might be building a nest somewhere nearby.”
“Oh dear, how frightening. We’ll have to warn the children not to wander too far.”
“Should we fence off the fields just in case?”
“Probably for the best. Wouldn’t want monsters stealing the vegetables we worked so hard to grow.”
“Might be smart to set up a night watch too.”
This was probably one of the strengths of a small village.
The mentality of “when someone’s in trouble, everyone helps” was deeply rooted here, so the villagers were tightly united.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Hm? Ah, right. Eight, could you watch the kids again? Those little brats never listen to adults, but for some reason they behave when it comes to you.”
“Understood. Tell them I’ll prepare snacks and juice.”
Naturally, I was one of the villagers now too, so I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing.
When the adults got busy, one of my roles was looking after the village children.
Though honestly, the kids here were all pretty good.
A few of them were cheeky, sure, but once I sat them in front of manga, anime, or video games, they quieted down instantly.
Civilization truly was a magnificent thing.
After the elderly villagers left my house to begin their respective jobs, I started preparing breakfast.
“Hmm… maybe toast and bacon eggs today. As for soup… eh, instant should be fine.”
I slid slices of bread into the toaster and set a frying pan on the stove.
Thick-cut bacon went onto the pan first, sizzling loudly as it browned to perfection.
Then I cracked two eggs beside it and lightly seasoned them with salt.
Add a little water, put on a lid, and the eggs cook through without even needing to flip them.
Highly recommended.
Right around then, Grana finally woke up and wandered into the kitchen.
“Ah, good morning, Grana-san.”
“…Mm. Good morning… Eight-dono…”
I still couldn’t see Grana’s face beneath the helmet, but they clearly weren’t a morning person.
Their movements were sluggish and unsteady.
The silver armor made them look overwhelmingly intimidating at first glance, but seeing them half-asleep like this somehow made them seem oddly cute.
“Sorry to ask first thing in the morning, but could you wake Raphael-san for me? Breakfast will be ready soon.”
“Mm… understood…”
All that remained was boiling water and pouring it into cups containing powdered corn soup.
“And then spread butter over the toast—and breakfast is done.”
“Good morning, Eight.”
“Ah, Raphael-san. Morning.”
Raphael entered the living room after being awakened by Grana—
—and her bedhead was catastrophic.
No, seriously.
It was impressively awful.
“…Did you properly dry your hair with the hair dryer before bed last night?”
“…The dryer is certainly convenient,” Raphael admitted reluctantly, “but I dislike it. The noise startles me.”
“If you don’t dry your hair properly, it’ll start smelling, you know?”
“Eight, I am the Saintess. Saintesses do not become smelly regardless of circumstance.”
“She’s saying the equivalent of a Showa-era idol claiming girls don’t use bathrooms…” I sighed. “More importantly, let’s eat before breakfast gets cold.”
I placed the meal in front of Raphael and Grana.
“…Bacon and eggs?”
“We have eaten this dish at the temple before.”
“Oh right, this world has it too, doesn’t it?”
“It does,” Raphael answered flatly. “However, it tastes awful. The bacon is excessively salty, and the eggs are always overcooked and dry. Frankly speaking, I hated it.”
“But,” she continued.
She cut into the bacon with a knife and placed a piece into her mouth.
Then, despite her expression remaining completely blank, her eyes sparkled brilliantly.
“The rich savory flavor of the meat melts upon the tongue without becoming overwhelming!! The subtle bite of pepper lingering in the nose is addictively pleasant!! As expected, food prepared by Eight is exceptional.”
“I think the real amazing ones are the people at the company producing the bacon, not me.”
“You should learn to accept praise honestly, Eight.” Raphael immediately tore into the toast next. “Mm!! What extraordinary softness!! The surface is crisp, yet the inside is fluffy and chewy!! And the rich flavor of the butter spread across it is magnificent!!”
…I’d thought this ever since the cup noodles incident, but the difference between Raphael during meals and Raphael normally was absurd.
Then I noticed something strange.
Grana’s hand had completely stopped moving.
“Grana-san? What’s wrong? Is there something you can’t eat?”
“…Eight-dono. I feel bad complaining after you prepared this meal for us, but… should the eggs not be cooked more thoroughly?”
“Hm? You don’t like soft-boiled eggs?”
“No, that is not the issue… Eggs must be thoroughly cooked, otherwise one risks stomach illness.”
“Ah.”
Right.
I’d completely forgotten.
In this world, where hygiene standards weren’t exactly ideal, eating raw eggs was considered dangerous.
Naturally, half-cooked eggs would make people nervous too.
I was just about to offer to re-cook Raphael and Grana’s eggs when—
“There is no issue,” Raphael declared.
“Raphael-sama?”
“Eight himself intends to eat the same meal. Therefore, it is obviously safe for us as well. Besides, if he must re-cook our portions now, his own food will become cold. I am perfectly content eating it as is.”
“And your real reason?”
“…I wish to try half-cooked eggs. I no longer desire dry, crumbly ones.”
…The temple’s bacon and eggs really must’ve been terrible.
“…Well, putting Raphael-sama’s true motives aside,” Grana muttered, “is it genuinely safe?”
“It’s fine. These eggs aren’t from this world—they’re imported from my old country.”
“…Imported?” Grana tilted their head. “How does one import goods from another world?”
…That was actually difficult to explain.
“Uh… basically, if I use points through my smartphone to order things through online shopping, they appear in front of the entrance.”
“…Points? Online shopping? What are those?”
“Points are kind of like money, I guess? Honestly, I don’t fully understand it myself. They increase whenever I help people or do useful things. And online shopping is… well, sort of like placing delivery requests for goods.”
Back when I first arrived in the village, the points had started increasing automatically whenever I helped with farming or watched the children.
Maybe the gods of this world had created the system out of consideration for me.
Just like the electricity, gas, and water, though, I had absolutely no idea how it actually worked.
At this point, I’d simply accepted it as “god powers.”
The nice thing was that I could check my point balance anytime through my smartphone, which was surprisingly convenient.
“I see…” Grana murmured thoughtfully. “If it is a blessing from the Creator Goddess Elnemesia-sama herself, then perhaps such things are not impossible…”
“Corn soup yummy.”
“…Raphael-sama, please show a little more awareness as a Saintess!!”
“I am no longer a Saintess.”
“You are still a Saintess!! I already contacted the Cardinal, so until we receive a reply, you are absolutely still a Saintess!!”
Grana practically launched into a sermon at full force.
And then—
“Oiiiii!! Eight-nii-chaaan!! We came to play!!”
“Gimme snacks and juice!!”
“E-Excuse us…”
The village children came pouring into the house.