Chapter 19: The Dragon and the Meat-Wrapped Potatoes
The moment I hurried toward the front entrance, the self-proclaimed Demon Lord girl—Eve—came striding toward me with a bright, utterly carefree smile on her face.
…While dragging the corpse of a gigantic dragon behind her.
The sheer weight of the creature carved deep grooves into the dirt as its massive body scraped across the ground. Crimson scales glittered under the sunlight like scattered rubies, and every movement produced a sickening, heavy sound.
Then Eve puffed out her chest proudly and thrust a finger toward it.
“Here! A gift!!”
“W-What is with this dragon!?”
“Huh? Isn’t it common sense for humans to bring souvenirs when visiting someone’s house?”
“I mean… maybe, technically, but…”
At a loss for words, I took another careful look at Eve.
Twisted, ominous horns protruded from the sides of her head. From her lower back extended pitch-black wings and a long tail that swayed lazily behind her. No matter how you looked at her, she was clearly not human.
Could she actually be the Demon Lord?
If that were true, then bringing back an absurdly powerful-looking dragon as a casual present suddenly made a disturbing amount of sense.
…Hm?
“Uh, this dragon looks like it’s been bitten.”
“Ah, I got a little hungry on the way here and ate some of it!! Teehee☆”
Eve stuck out her tongue and winked playfully.
Way too calculated.
Absolutely shamelessly calculated.
And yet, annoyingly enough, I found myself thinking it was cute.
At this point, I might really be adapting to this fantasy world.
I cleared my throat lightly before speaking again.
“Ahem… Well, thank you for the thoughtful gift. So, what exactly did you come here for?”
“I told you already!! Food!! I wanna eat your cooking too, mister!!”
“I can’t really serve anything all that impressive…”
“But I want the not-impressive stuff!! It’s unfair that Saintie gets to eat it all the time!!”
“—Eight, there is no need to entertain her.”
Raphiel stepped protectively in front of me as she spoke, her expression turning sharp.
“You were the one spying on us earlier today, weren’t you?”
“Hm? Yup, that was me, Saintie.”
“You introduced yourself as the Demon Lord earlier. You are referring to the same Demon Lord I am thinking of… correct?”
“Sure am!! What, you wanna fight me? Just so you know, I’m the strongest.”
The air crackled between Raphiel and Eve as sparks practically flew from their glares alone.
A clash between the Demon Lord and the Saint?
That sounded catastrophically dangerous.
Just as panic began to rise in my chest—
“Hey.”
Hinoka suddenly stepped between them.
As expected of our resident goddess. When things truly mattered, she could actually be relied upon as a guardian deity.
…Or so I thought.
“Demon Lord. You reek of blood.”
“Maybe because I was chomping on dragon meat raw?”
“That is not what I mean. The stench of blood has soaked into your entire being. I will not allow someone like you near my husband. Prepare yourself.”
“—Ahaha☆ You’re a god from another world, right!? Nice, nice!! You’ll make perfect practice for when I kill the gods back home!!”
A Goddess and Saint versus the Demon Lord?
Yeah, no. Absolutely not. I needed to establish boundaries immediately.
“You can fight if you want,” I said flatly, “but if any damage comes to my house or this village, I’ll be genuinely angry.”
“…Demon Lord, let us relocate. Angering Eight, even by accident, is terrifying. He may turn us into Imo-modoki.”
“Imo-modoki? What’s that? Well, whatever, changing locations is fine. …Wait, that guy scares the Saint? Who even is he?”
“My husband, obviously.”
“You are incorrect. Eight is unmarried. He is not Hinoka’s husband.”
Raphiel floated gracefully into the air through the power of miracles. Hinoka vanished like dissipating mist. Eve spread her black wings with a booming flap.
As the three prepared to leave—
“Please be back before dinner!”
“““Okaaay—”””
Their responses were astonishingly casual considering they were about to wage what sounded like an apocalyptic battle.
Then the three of them disappeared toward the mountain behind the house.
…The mountain isn’t going to get erased from existence, right?
Feeling slightly uneasy, I stared at the dragon Eve had left behind, wondering what in the world I was supposed to do with it.
That was when Grana walked over.
“Is there anything I can help with?”
“Ah, Grana-san. Um… by any chance, do you know how to butcher a dragon?”
I asked mostly out of desperation, but Grana examined the dragon closely before nodding.
“Hm. A juvenile Red Dragon. I have slain one before, so yes, I can dismantle it.”
“You’re a lifesaver!! …Wait, hold on. This thing is over ten meters long and it’s still a juvenile!?”
“Indeed. Though Red Dragon meat is notoriously tough. There are very few edible portions.”
Grana sliced open the dragon’s abdomen with practiced precision.
The amount of usable meat she extracted was only around five hundred grams. At first glance, it resembled lean beef.
“W-Wait, that’s all!? From something this huge!?”
“Dragons fly through the sky. Their bodies are almost entirely muscle. The only truly edible part is the tenderloin.”
“And the rest…?”
“Barely edible. Even the comparatively softer belly meat is difficult to chew.”
To confirm her claim, I tried grilling some of the other cuts in a frying pan.
“…Hard.”
“Told you.”
Hmmm.
The softer belly meat could probably be salvaged if I soaked it in honey long enough to tenderize it. Steak might work.
The real problem was everything else.
“I can’t chew this at all!!”
The texture was practically rubber.
At this point, instead of grilling or stir-frying it, stewing it slowly might be the better option.
“So then, Eight-dono,” Grana asked expectantly, “what are we having for dinner tonight?”
“…Grana-san, you’re starting to sound more and more like Raphiel-san.”
“I shall take that as a compliment.”
…I absolutely did not mean it as one.
Still, putting that aside, what should I make with dragon meat?
Cooking with ingredients from this world was risky. Things rarely behaved the way I expected.
And my household refrigerator was tiny. If I didn’t use this meat quickly, it would spoil.
“…Well, might as well use potatoes too.”
First, I peeled the potatoes, placed them in a heatproof container, wrapped them, and microwaved them until soft.
Once tender, I mixed in salt, pepper, and mayonnaise, then mashed everything together before shaping the mixture into rough oval portions.
Next, I wrapped thin slices of Red Dragon tenderloin around each potato bundle.
“Then tie them with cooking twine so they don’t fall apart.”
After placing them into a preheated oven, I let them cook slowly and thoroughly.
While they roasted, I prepared a special sauce using red wine, Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, and grated garlic.
Once the meat finished cooking, I carefully removed it from the oven and sliced it gently so the shape wouldn’t collapse.
After plating everything and drizzling the sauce over the top, I sprinkled parsley as a finishing touch.
Done.
“Ohh… that roasted aroma is wonderful,” Grana murmured. “What is this dish called?”
“Uh… Dragon Meat-Wrapped Potatoes, I guess?”
“Why are you phrasing it like a question?”
“I made it entirely on instinct. …Want to taste it?”
“Gladly.”
Still wearing her helmet somehow, Grana skillfully took a bite.
“Mm.”
“Well? Honestly, I’m not very confident cooking with ingredients from this world, so I’d appreciate an honest opinion.”
“It is delicious. Though perhaps the sauce is slightly overpowering.”
“Then maybe I should thin it out with more wine.”
We continued adjusting the flavor little by little through repeated taste tests, and after preparing potato salad as a side dish, dinner was finally complete.
I stepped outside the house and cupped my hands around my mouth.
“It’s about time to come baaack!!”
I shouted toward the mountain behind the house.
Only seconds later, Raphiel and the others returned.
All three of them looked utterly wrecked.
“Ahh, that was fun☆ It’s been forever since I had a battle to the death!!”
“Next time, I will finish you. More importantly, Eight, what is for dinner?”
“Eight. I wish to dine together as well.”
“Before any of that, all of you go take a bath immediately.”
There was no way I was letting them tromp through the house covered head to toe in mud.
A little while later, Eve emerged from the bath.
“Hey hey, mister!! This house is amaaazing☆ Maybe I should build a bath in my castle too!!”
“I’m glad you like it. Come on, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”
“Yaaay, thanks for the foooood— …Huh?”
Eve suddenly froze while staring at the dragon meat-wrapped potatoes.
“…This meat’s bulked up with potatoes? Ugh, I hate vegetables.”
“If you dislike it that much, couldn’t you just not eat it?”
“What’s this, Saintie? Are you salty because you lost to me?”
“I did not lose. I merely accept any challenge presented to me.”
“Raphiel-san. Eve-san.”
“Y-Yes.”
“Hm? What is it, mister? Wanna see us fight again?”
“I absolutely will not tolerate fighting during meals.”
“…Eh? Ah. Sorry.”
There were two things I could never forgive.
One was harm coming to the people of Papel Village or to my precious home.
The other was causing a disturbance during meals.
It was disrespectful—to the ingredients, and to the person who prepared the food.
If anyone started fighting at the dinner table, I’d throw them out without dinner, no exceptions.
“…The killing intent from this guy is intense enough to pressure even me, the Demon Lord… Mister, you really aren’t normal, are you…? Haaah…”
“Please just eat already.”
“Ah, okay. Thanks for the meal.”
Eve bit into the dragon meat-wrapped potato.
Her crimson eyes instantly flew wide open.
“What is this!? It’s sooo good!?”
“Does it suit your taste?”
“It’s incredible!! The dragon meat is crispy, and the potatoes soak up all the fat so it’s not greasy at all!! It tastes completely different from raw meat!!”
“…Raw meat?”
Just what kind of lifestyle does the Demon Lord live?
I was becoming slightly concerned about her eating habits, but at least she seemed happy.
And then—
“Okay!! I’ve decided!!”
“Decided what?”
“Mister. I wanna become part of this family!!”
“As expected of the Demon Lord. How shameless. Munch munch, this potato salad is delicious.”
“Raphiel-sama… I do not think any of us are in a position to say that.”
Grana shot Raphiel a mercilessly sharp retort.
…No, wait.
What?
What does she mean, she wants to become part of this family!?