Chapter 73: Even Toilets Can Be a Business Opportunity

Fitt was moved to the point of tears upon hearing Merlin’s words. His voice quivered with genuine emotion as he exclaimed, “Merlin, you truly are my best brother. Every single time you spoil me like this… wuu, wuu… I’m so touched I don’t even know what to say!”

Merlin smiled faintly, though his tone carried a kind of quiet firmness. “Well, I can’t help it. After all, you’re my brother. A bond like ours—being brothers for life—resides deep in the heart!”

He carefully set down a small glass vial of antidote on the wooden table beside him. His eyes flickered with thoughtfulness. If Fitt showed even the slightest sign of real poisoning, Merlin would not hesitate to make him drink it at once.

For now, however, he decided to simply observe. Half an hour—no more, no less—would be enough to see whether his friend displayed any troubling symptoms. Thus, when he began preparing a fresh batch of pearl milk tea, he deliberately slowed his movements, letting each action stretch out, as though testing time itself.

At the end of that half hour, Merlin placed another steaming cup of milk tea before Fitt.

Fitt, who had been restless with anticipation, immediately snatched it up with both hands and began gulping it down in great, noisy swallows. His eyes lit up with unrestrained joy, the pearls tumbling across his tongue in delightful bursts.

“Fitt,” Merlin said, his lips curving into a mischievous smile, “I know how much you love pearls, so this time I doubled the amount.”

Fitt paused just long enough to throw Merlin a hearty thumbs-up. “Good brother!” he declared proudly, before diving right back into his drink.

Roughly another thirty minutes passed. Then, quite suddenly, Fitt felt his stomach churn violently, a rolling, twisting sensation that demanded urgent release. His face tightened, and with one hand pressing against his belly, he raised his other to signal Merlin.

“Merlin,” he asked in an embarrassed yet strained tone, “where’s your toilet?”

Merlin, who had been watching every little twitch and gesture of his friend’s body, nodded thoughtfully. Without a trace of surprise, he pointed toward a small room on the first floor. “Over there. Go on your own.”

Without wasting a second, Fitt sprinted across the room. Merlin watched his friend’s frantic retreat, rubbing his chin with a thoughtful expression. So… one cup of milk tea laced with the wooden yam’s black sugar pearls seems to have no effect whatsoever on the human body. But two or three cups… ah, that’s where things get interesting. It only causes diarrhea—no poisoning, no risk to life.

Still, considering the differences between individuals, more experimentation was needed. A sly glint flashed across his eyes. In that case, why not…? Yes, let the oxen and laborers working behind the mountain have a free treat today. A mass trial, disguised as a reward.

Meanwhile, inside the small chamber, Fitt’s crisis had only deepened. The urge pressed down on him like a relentless tide, but when his eyes fell upon the strange contraption before him, he froze in dismay.

A porcelain seat, smooth and foreign in design, gleamed beneath the dim light. Fitt scratched at his head in panic, cold sweat forming on his brow. “What in the world is this thing?!”

The truth was simple—this world had never known the invention of the toilet.

He hopped from foot to foot, his belly twisting cruelly. At last, unable to endure, he shouted in desperation, “Merlin! Merlin! What’s going on with your toilet?!”

Merlin appeared at the door, mildly amused. Inside, Fitt was pointing furiously at the porcelain seat.

“What is this thing?” Fitt demanded.

“That,” Merlin replied with the tone of a patient teacher, “is a toilet. Also called a sitting commode. You use it by sitting down and… letting your bottom do the rest.”

Fitt’s face contorted in disgust. “That sounds revolting! I’ve never even seen anything like this before.”

Merlin chuckled, then calmly stepped inside. He walked to the toilet, pressed a small lever, and demonstrated how water gushed forth, swirling and carrying everything away. “See? Perfectly clean. I had this custom-made. It’s really not difficult—any second-year alchemy apprentice could craft one with ease.”

Fitt’s eyes widened in awe. Despite his urgent need, he couldn’t help marveling at the sight. But his stomach growled fiercely, and there was no more time to hesitate. With a grunt, he shoved Merlin out, slammed the door shut, and sat down.

Moments later came the unmistakable crackling and splattering of release. Fitt let out a long sigh of relief, his entire body slackening with bliss. The sensation of sitting, relaxed and comfortable, while his body emptied itself… it was almost intoxicating. Heavens, who knew defecating could feel so good?

In Fitt’s world, toilets had always been primitive. A simple pit lined with stones or wooden planks sufficed for common folk, while nobles relied on specially constructed chambers with long stone channels leading to cesspits beneath their castles.

But this… this was different.

When he finally reached out and pressed the flush handle, the water surged once more, sweeping away every trace of filth. Fitt stared, dumbfounded. His gaze toward the porcelain throne had transformed—it was no longer just an object, but a treasure.

Emerging from the chamber, refreshed and glowing, he found Merlin brewing yet another pot of milk tea. Pointing back toward the room, he asked with genuine wonder, “Merlin, that thing—this toilet—where did you even get it?”

“I drew the schematics myself and had some alchemy seniors make it,” Merlin replied casually.

“Sit-down toilets… incredible! In schools, in palaces, everywhere—it’s always squatting, and after too long your legs go numb. But this… this is true comfort.” Fitt’s voice brimmed with admiration.

Merlin froze, then a sudden realization dawned upon him. That’s right! This world doesn’t even know the concept of toilets. Which means…

A golden business opportunity.

Yes… I’ll establish a toilet workshop. We’ll manufacture them, sell them. For nobles, we’ll even craft custom luxury models—gold-plated, adorned with pearls and gemstones. Or better yet, toilets forged from elemental mana stones, so one can cultivate while relieving themselves. Imagine the advertisement: “Even while you defecate, your child will advance faster than the competition!”

The idea thrilled him. Not just comfort, but progress—imagine breaking through a magical barrier while on the toilet. What could be smoother than that?

Merlin pictured the idle alchemy apprentices at the Steam and Starlight Workshop. They were wasting away, producing useless trinkets that no one would ever invest in. But toilets… now that is a product with real value.

Still, the plan required careful thought. For now, he had a simpler task: reward his loyal workers.

His gaze fell upon the simmering pearls, and an odd gleam flickered in his eyes.

Beast Taming Academy · Upstream of the Emerald River · Clearing behind the mountain

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!

Merlin stood proudly in the center of a wide clearing, three massive iron cauldrons bubbling behind him. He clapped his hands together and raised his voice so all could hear:

“Everyone! Stop what you’re doing for now. Work is endless, but rest is necessary. Come, gather here!”

The students who had been laboring on the construction site paused, their faces lighting up with curiosity.

“The weather’s been turning chilly lately,” Merlin continued warmly, “and you’ve all been working hard on my behalf. Today, I’ve prepared a new kind of drink, and I’m offering it to you free of charge—as a small token of my gratitude.”

The moment the word free reached their ears, the crowd surged toward him.

After all, Merlin’s reputation had already spread like wildfire. His creations—lotus leaf beggar’s chicken, spicy lemon passionfruit chicken feet, creamy little steamed buns—had become famous overnight. Each dish was more than food; it was an experience, a marvel that set tongues wagging across the academy.

Now, even a phrase circulated among the students of the Arcane Academy:

“If it’s made by Merlin, it must be a masterpiece.”

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