Chapter 90: Was My Beauty to Blame?
“First, I don’t think Taketsuru knows this yet, but the woman I left hanging in the garden is one of the Kikkōryū young master’s childhood friends and prospective brides. However, she appears to have been acting like an outdated tsundere, so the young master dislikes her by precisely the right amount. That’s the first point.”
“Information I didn’t know came out as though it were obvious, but that’s fine. Then what?”
“Next, that young master was ordered by his superiors, against his own wishes, to fight a duel with a kunoichi who had suddenly come from outside—in other words, Meiko—with marriage at stake. If his clan abruptly told him to duel some stranger for marriage, the young master must’ve been under considerable pressure.”
“Nekoyanagi-san is apparently about to be forced into a duel as if it were completely normal, but that’s fine too. Then what?”
Meiko’s duel was fine too…?
Once we’d reached this point, the rest was simple.
To draw Taketsuru’s gaze, I looked at the Sea God’s shrine maiden, who lacked some of the background information and hadn’t quite followed the discussion.
When we suddenly looked at her, she spoke jokingly.
“And then he saw a beauty like me and couldn’t help falling in love?”
“That’s what happened.”
“Hweeh.”
Apparently not expecting me to agree, the Sea God’s shrine maiden made an idiotic sound.
However, this was important, so I would make it clear.
“After being cornered by his childhood friend and pressured by his clan, he went walking along the coast while mentally exhausted… Then beneath the moonlight, dancing atop the sea, he saw a peerless beauty who would make ninety-nine out of a hundred people turn their heads. Of course a simple young man from the countryside fell in love at first sight.”
“Fweh!?”
When I gave the Sea God’s shrine maiden my unfiltered appraisal, she made a noise like a disgusting otaku.
What was wrong with her today?
But I wasn’t lying.
“Honestly… What’s with you all of a sudden? Flattering me won’t get you anything… W-Would you like some greenling? There’s a rather large one hiding nearby.”
“No need.”
The Sea God’s shrine maiden’s attitude suddenly softened, but she truly was beautiful.
In ordinary university life you could find anywhere, it was common for nearly everyone one encountered to be handsome or beautiful, but that wasn’t real-world common sense.
The world contained conventionally handsome and beautiful people, and it also contained people whose appearances were less impressive.
Society treated lookism as wrong and considered it desirable not to take appearances into account when evaluating others.
However, it appeared romance wasn’t built solely from such pretty ideals.
Individual preferences existed, but when someone was beautiful enough to shatter them, people often fell in love at first sight without ever examining what lay inside.
Kuwajima made that clear. Even while afflicted by the Curse of Chuunibyou, she’d been popular beyond a certain degree.
“In other words, since the Sea God’s shrine maiden is quite literally inhumanly beautiful, it’s entirely possible that a passing ninja fell in love at first sight and did something foolish to attract her attention. For example, much as someone might accidentally steal a heavenly maiden’s feather robe, he accidentally stole her sacred orb.”
“So it was me… My beauty was to blame…”
The shrine maiden pressed a hand to her forehead with a whoops expression, but looked far from displeased.
Taketsuru and I stared at her coldly.
After remaining like that for a while, she spoke with slight embarrassment.
“Um, despite saying I would make ninety-nine out of a hundred people turn around, your gazes are very cold.”
I prefaced my response with a thoughtful hum, then answered honestly.
“Sorry, but I try not to judge others by appearance. Appearance is merely one of a person’s parameters. It’s important, but not powerful enough to solve everything. At present, I can’t rate you any higher than ‘an attractive walking disaster who made an irreparable blunder.’ I’m sorry.”
“Those words are far too sharp. How do I make you gentler?”
“Humanity has not yet succeeded in developing a time machine.”
“That wasn’t wrapped in nearly enough tact.”
In that respect, Meiko was wonderful after all. As expected of my “childhood friend.”
Kuwajima was… well, Kuwajima. Regardless of her actual abilities, appearance sometimes exerted a large influence on others, so she merely had to be used in the right place.
“That’s my reason. What about you, Taketsuru? There’s no denying she’s obviously beautiful. Are you attracted to her?”
“Sorry, but my heart belongs only to Sumire-neesan. Actually, after everything that happened in the other world, every girl except Sumire-neesan looks like a daikon radish sprouting hijiki seaweed to me.”
“Sometimes even you exceed my imagination.”
Taketsuru was also a competent and handsome “best friend,” but whenever matters concerning the other world arose, he revealed a darkness that was difficult to swallow.
Incidentally, the hijiki-sprouting daikon who heard us narrowed her eyes and glared.
“It’s strange for me to say this, but you’re both weird.”
“I’m an ordinary university student you could find anywhere.”
“Don’t lump me together with Kirishiro.”
In the first place, an ordinary university student you could find anywhere was supposed to play the role of the one person out of a hundred who didn’t turn to look at the beauty.
I’d once asked Meiko whether that was the exact opposite of ordinary, but she’d answered, “If the beauty is his childhood friend, he’s subconsciously in love with her, so it ultimately comes to one hundred percent. No problem.” In other words, it was ordinary.
I couldn’t rid myself of the question of whether that made it a problem when the beauty wasn’t his childhood friend, but if Meiko said it was fine, it probably was.
“We’ve talked at length, but in the end, we’ve only confirmed the current situation. We’ll contact the ninjas, so you handle the investigation I requested earlier.”
“Yes, yes. I just need to investigate the sea serpent’s abilities, right?”
“Correct. I want to assemble enough fighting strength to exterminate it with certainty before we engage. Collect data as accurately as possible. Complete honesty may be difficult, but do your best.”
“There’s something wrong with a human who thinks he can casually order around a Sea God’s shrine maiden.”
We’re helping clean up the mess you made in the first place.
That complaint rose to my throat, but I swallowed it.
Saying it might make me feel better, but it wouldn’t improve the situation.
Instead, I responded with all the kindness I could muster.
“I like competent people. Even more so when they’re beautiful. So I’m counting on you.”
“!! I-If you put it that way, I suppose I have no choice! I’ll do you the favor!”
“Please do. Also, give me some means of contacting you.”
“Asking for my contact information when we’ve only just met! Young people these days truly are…!”
Then she gave me a beautiful seashell that apparently functioned like a mobile phone.
Ah, there was one other thing I needed to say.
“Also, a goddess I know is searching for a marriage partner. Once this matter is resolved, can you ask the Sea God about that?”
“Hmm? I don’t mind, but the Sea God is already married. Would there be any point?”
“Ah.”
The sound escaped me involuntarily.
Inside my head, the auditory hallucination screamed noisily, “I knew it! All the good men are already married!”
“So, Taketsuru. Depending on circumstances—or rather, almost certainly—we’ll need to borrow your and the Holy Sword’s power. Is that all right?”
After the shrine maiden returned to the sea, I asked Taketsuru, who looked faintly melancholy.
He released a long sigh, then smiled weakly.
“Well, it can’t be helped. Like I said, I couldn’t sleep peacefully if a flood and tsunami hit this area. But…”
“But?”
“The Holy Sword gets seriously loud when I summon it, so can’t we still do this on the last day of the trip?”
“Bringing that up now isn’t going to help…”
That depended more on the sea serpent than on us. My honest desire was to finish our preparations and launch a surprise attack while it was still asleep.
Taketsuru wasn’t incapable of understanding that. He’d probably just tried asking anyway.
“Let’s return to the villa. By now, the kunoichi should be nicely roasted.”
“This is the first time I’ve seen torture since returning to Earth.”
He spoke as though he’d seen it frequently in the other world, but I decided not to ask.
Somehow, almost an hour had passed since we left the villa.
As I checked the time, I received a call from Meiko.
“Hello. What is it, Meiko? Did Kikkōryū confess anything?”
“No, um. It’s a little different from that.”
“You’re unusually hesitant.”
I tilted my head at Meiko’s uncharacteristically suggestive tone.
She cautiously broached the matter.
“It’s Tae-chan.”
“What happened to Kuwajima?”
“She turned into this.”
Along with her words, I sensed Meiko point the phone somewhere.
Then I heard this:
“Kuhahahaha! My name is Goetheschwarz Sanzen Sanbyaku Sanjuuin! At last, I have returned to this world! Hahahaha! Power surges through me as never before! I truly am the one chosen by the gods!”
So Kuwajima had put on her bandages.
Everyone was free to wear the clothes they liked. That wasn’t particularly surprising.
Just as I thought that, Meiko’s voice returned.
“Tae-chan isn’t wearing bandages. She ate a watermelon and became like this.”
“I’m returning immediately. Pin that idiot down until I arrive.”
You always exceed my imagination, Kuwajima…!
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Author’s Note:
For Kuwajima’s honor, she did properly obey her instructions.
She was simply unlucky… No, lucky.
When I think calmly about it, every woman in this story except Meiko is useless.