Chapter 88: A Rich Aroma and Behi Tea

The Behemoth dung lying in front of the restaurant glittered strangely.

According to Raphiel, the sparkles came from rare ores called orichalcum, mithril, and adamantite.

“I once read about Behemoths in a book describing mythical creatures. They’re said to consume metals infused with magical power.”

“Then if we clean this and sell it…”

“It would be worth no less than several billion yen—perhaps tens of billions. Two or three generations of your family could live without ever working.”

T-Tens of billions!?

“That much money is honestly frightening! V-Village Chief!”

“Oh, my. I must begin preparing the Golden Dragon Mash for drying at once.”

“Don’t run away! We could earn more by wiping these clean than by selling dried mushrooms!”

“I don’t wish to touch dung.”

“You’re usually far greedier than this! Stop! Please stop! I can’t hold him!”

I failed to restrain the Village Chief, and he escaped with surprising ease.

“G-Grrr… That’s it! Luka, Nor, Rio—I’ll buy you anything you want if—”

“No poop.”

“They’re thanking you, so you should accept it yourself.”

“S-Sorry, Eight-nii.”

Even the children, who usually leapt at any opportunity to help, were cold this time.

Fine. I would have to do it myself.

“F-Father! Amate will help you!”

“Amate… No. The thought is enough. I’ll take care of it.”

Bracing myself, I approached the pile in front of the restaurant.

Raphiel had already moved closer. She studied it intently while prodding it several times with a stick.

“…Eight, perhaps there’s something wrong with my nose.”

“What brought this on?”

“The Behemoth dung has an exceptionally rich aroma. It smells pleasant.”

“Isn’t a rich aroma exactly what you’d expect from dung?”

“That isn’t what I mean. It truly smells good. Try it.”

“Seriously…?”

Though deeply skeptical, I brought my nose closer and sniffed.

…It didn’t stink.

If anything, it carried the scent of fresh grass, like being surrounded by the open countryside.

Looking more closely, I saw that leaves of some kind were mixed among the ore.

They must have been the source of the scent.

“Eight, I’m about to say something outrageous.”

“I already have a bad feeling, but go ahead.”

“Do you know what a civet is?”

A civet.

It was a wild animal belonging to the Viverridae family, well known for one particular reason.

“Surely not. No. Absolutely not.”

“People in your world eat many unusual foods. There’s no reason this should be forbidden.”

“There’s every reason!”

“And I understand there’s coffee made using beans found in civet droppings.”

The coffee cherries fermented inside the civet’s body, and the beans were collected and roasted. People didn’t literally brew the droppings themselves.

Wait.

If those leaves fermented inside the Behemoth’s stomach…

“Could this… actually work?”

“Eight, I wish to drink Behi Tea. I shall cleanse the dung with a purification miracle, so I leave the rest to you.”

“…I suppose we can try.”

I ordered a brand-new frying pan online.

Even I didn’t have the courage to roast these leaves in a pan we normally used for cooking.

“—Purification Miracle.”

When Raphiel cast the miracle, the black dung slowly turned transparent.

…Was it truly clean now?

I still didn’t want to touch it, but Raphiel plunged her hands in without hesitation and began separating the leaves from the ore.

Then she handed the leaves to me.

Using the kitchen at Dining House Tsurugi Hachi seemed unwise, so we moved to my house.

“First…”

I lined the new frying pan with parchment paper, added the leaves, and roasted them slowly over low heat.

As I shook the pan, taking great care not to burn them, a fresh, mint-like fragrance filled the room.

I immediately transferred the leaves to another container and prepared to brew the tea.

“Come to think of it, there’s a kintsugi-repaired teapot and a set of cups in your cupboard. Since this is a special occasion, perhaps we should use—”

“Those were my grandmother’s. My grandpa treasured them, so we’re absolutely not using them for Behi Tea.”

“Ah. Understood.”

As with the frying pan, I ordered a new teapot and cups online.

First, I poured boiling water into the cups and let it cool to about eighty degrees Celsius.

I placed the leaves in the teapot, then gently poured in the cooled water and waited.

Finally, I poured a little tea into each cup in rotation to keep the strength even, draining the teapot to the final drop.

The Behi Tea was complete.

“It’s ready, but…”

“The color resembles ordinary green tea.”

“It smells pleasant too.”

…I had made the thing, but did Raphiel truly intend to drink it?

Eve, who had been watching, spoke with obvious reluctance.

“Onii-san, Saintess-chan… Are you really going to drink that?”

“What? Raphiel is the only one drinking it, isn’t she?”

“Eight, we’ve known each other for quite some time now.”

Though her expression remained blank, Raphiel somehow managed to look warm and gentle.

“Raphiel, even if you put on your most saintly air, I’m not drinking that.”

“I’m a genuine Saintess. Ahem. You and I are now of one heart and body. We shall remain together forever.”

“No. I absolutely refuse.”

“Then let us decide fairly with rock-paper-scissors. Everyone present will play, and the loser must drink it.”

“WHAT!?”

Everyone immediately booed Raphiel’s proposal.

But she refused to yield.

“I don’t have the courage to drink Behi Tea alone! Please, someone drink it with me!”

It was rare to see Raphiel plead so desperately.

…I could hardly make Amate, Luka, or the other children drink it.

“Fine. I’ll drink it, so forget the game.”

“Eight, I knew I could rely upon you.”

“I don’t want that kind of trust…”

Raphiel and I lifted the still-warm cups and drank together.

…Hm?

“This is actually pretty good. It has a distinctive astringency, but the flavor is powerful. It would pair nicely with a very sweet wagashi.”

“I have often drunk tea out of social obligation, but this is the finest I have tasted. One shouldn’t reject a flavor without trying it.”

“Agreed.”

“Ugh. You two are really drinking it…”

Eve stared at us with open disgust.

Then—

“Eight-kun? Why has the whole village gathered here? Did something happen?”

“Hijiri!”

“Hey, hey, listen to this, Suspicious Guy.”

Hijiri had vanished soon after we returned from Luresia, but now he suddenly reappeared.

Eve summarized the situation for him.

“Onii-san and Saintess-chan drank tea made from Behemoth poop.”

“That explanation is missing rather a lot of context.”

“Where have you been all this time, Hijiri?”

“Something troublesome happened. Here.”

He handed me a sheet of paper.

“’Eight is a villain impersonating a Hero… He must be executed’…?”

“What!?”

It was a leaflet filled with slander about me.

Afterword: Behi Tea

Tea made from leaves collected from Behemoth dung. It later becomes fashionable among high-ranking nobles and sells as an ultra-luxury tea worth several hundred gold coins per gram.